Comment on Is my girlfriend gaslighting me?

• andrewta@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Yeah this is manipulative as hell he needs to run like hell. Today. Not tomorrow.

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• AmidFuror@fedia.io ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  What about being overly dramatic in the comments section about someone else's minor spat with his girlfriend. Is that manipulative?

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  • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Are you the gf? Do you know if they did? Or will?

    Or are you just assuming?

    I can’t know if OP is exaggerating or not, or if they’re going to or not. Yes that’s an assumption on my part.

    As related, though, the behaviors described are heavily manipulative.

    As related: she decided unilaterally when to have that conversation. And she decided to do it when OP was near-comatose in sleep. An altered state that being roused from does not contribute to reasonable conversation.

    Walking away is fine, but it could have (and should have,) waited until the morning.

    Now look at what she’s saying is the problem- he missed a text, but also wasn’t waiting to escort her downstairs. Ultimately- if this is legitimate on her part it’s “you don’t care about me”.

    Now look at the fears she is expressing- that it’s literally unsafe to get dropped at the curb and walk in. While it’s certainly possible, the reality is that if it’s that unsafe, then asking what he’d do- and she jumps straight to killing?!

    And the CCTV stuff- which OP has no realistic way of knowing or resolving.

    Yeah; no. All of this is meant to put OP on the defensive, in a state that OP is not able to think clearly. As relayed it’s straight up manipulation, and if the most vile sort.

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    • AmidFuror@fedia.io ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Maybe he should file a police report for the torture.

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      • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        or maybe you could understand why it’s a form of torture and understand what I’m trying to say.

        Hint: because it put somebody into a vulnerable, easily manipulated state. whether she knew it or not, she was taking advantage of that vulnerable state. she brushed off prior attempts to talk it out, which is fine. But she doesn’t get to unilaterally expect that conversation on her timetable. He gets to say ‘no, I’m not in a place to talk about this,’ too.

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