Virgin giant:

• Bumps head on the stupidest things
• Whines about air travel
• Can’t handle an unfinished basement
• Has to buy special clothes
• Cries when he has to pick something off the ground
• “Do you play basketball?”
• Blocks people’s view.

Chad shortie:

• Can wear top hat anywhere they want.
• Walks under any obstacle with ease.
• Knows how to hem trousers.
• Can see into the fridge without crouching.
• Lovingly compared to the heroes of the shire.
• Low center of gravity.
• Can be taller by standing on literally anything.
• sneaky as heck