If you want to have a romantic relationship with someone, you probably want to know if they cheated on somebody before you go for it. Otherwise you’ll probably get burned just like they burned others. Maybe Anon wants a loyal girlfriend
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spujb@lemmy.cafe 5 months agoanon was almost fine till the slut shaming bit. it’s totally valid to have boundaries around smoking and alcohol, especially underage where those are significantly notable red flags.
even rationalizing one’s feelings is a pretty healthy thing to do. far better to acknowledge that the pretty girl had flaws than to pedastal her and pine after an idealized version of her for the rest of his life because that’s just a recipe for depression and self hate.
that said, her sexual history was none of anon’s business, and the fact that he doesn’t even seem sure about it while being willing to judge her character over it speaks volumes.
i hope anon is doing alright and has learned confidence in himself. also hope his relationship with women’s sexuality can improve cuz yikes.
Estiar@sh.itjust.works 5 months ago
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 5 months ago
“Slut” doesn’t mean a cheater. It just means (if it means anything) that you’ve had a bunch of/a lot of partners
Ajen@sh.itjust.works 5 months ago
Sometimes it does mean “cheater,” but I agree that’s probably not what OP meant.
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 5 months ago
Yeah some do use it like that, granted
spujb@lemmy.cafe 5 months ago
(CW language, i don’t usually like saying these words so much but i feel it’s relevant and constructive here)
a very important distinction lies between a cheater and a sexually promiscuous single person, or “slut.” anon didn’t acuse her of being a cheater; he said slut. if he meant unloyal he should have said that. if he doesn’t know the difference, he needs to learn.
13esq@lemmy.world 5 months ago
Oh no, I could’ve gotten laid! 😭
spujb@lemmy.cafe 5 months ago
and herein lies the inherent contradiction of misogynistic objectification 😞😞
woman who sleep with men are sluts. women who won’t sleep with me? also sluts.
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 5 months ago
I mean someone can still sleep with a lot of people even when it doesn’t include you. So it’s not necessarily contradictory
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 5 months ago
Some just find the idea of their partner having had a lot of other partners unappealing. I get it, it’s a really common thing. I’m sure some of it is sexism but having a ton of previous partners isn’t very appealing to a lot of women either. Plenty of jokes about someone having so many diseases that their dick falls off lol
ComfortableRaspberry@feddit.de 5 months ago
It’s okay to not find it appealing but it’s still not okay to call someone a slut because you feel like they had too many sexual partners. It’s easy as that ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 5 months ago
I didn’t mean to imply calling someone a slut was okay, just that thinking someone is a slut is just an “ick” thing for many.