Hope it works out for you mate. It sucks, but counselling is a great first step. We did it after having our 2nd kid and it helped immensely.
Comment on Daily discussion thread: đ§ Sunday, May 27, 2024
TinyBreak@aussie.zone â¨5⊠â¨months⊠ago
Bit of a shitty weekend. I donât really have anyone to talk to about this, so I guess you guys are it. I donât really wanna got into specifics, cause it may not happen and i donât want this to be identifiable. So I started looking at apartments over the weekend. Somethings happened and Iâm just not sure this is sustainable. To the point where a small 2 bed unit and 50/50 custody is starting to look appealing.
Weâve got couples therapy booked for end of next month (something Iâve been requesting for a while now). Will see if they can help us figure some stuff out.
This is the first time Iâve said this stuff out loud, so even hitting that Post button is⌠tough. like Iâm making it real or somethin.
MeanElevator@aussie.zone â¨5⊠â¨months⊠ago
TinyBreak@aussie.zone â¨5⊠â¨months⊠ago
Thanks! Yeah really feels like something we shoulda sorted before kid joined the party, but hey. If the best day to start was yesterday then the next best time to start is today.
MeanElevator@aussie.zone â¨5⊠â¨months⊠ago
Maybe the kid was the catalyst that was needed. It was for us. Our first settled into solid sleep patterns in like 6 weeks, our 2nd took nearly a year to sleep through the night. We were so edgy and grumpy we started to take little things out on each other.
TinyBreak@aussie.zone â¨5⊠â¨months⊠ago
the sleep thing does NOT help. Kiddo woke up 2 or 3 times last night, just makes things really tough.
00Steve@aussie.zone â¨5⊠â¨months⊠ago
Sorry to hear. Relationships are tough, especially with kids. Be gentle with yourself and try to respond to the situation and conversations rather than react/defend. Hope the counsellor helps, either way though, from someone who has had 2 marriages end before 40, leaving is sometimes the best option for everyone and life gets to be great again given time. Relationships are absolutely worth fighting for but its definitely not a failure to walk away
TinyBreak@aussie.zone â¨5⊠â¨months⊠ago
Hope the counsellor helps, either way though, from someone who has had 2 marriages end before 40, leaving is sometimes the best option for everyone and life gets to be great again given time. Relationships are absolutely worth fighting for but its definitely not a failure to walk away
Cheers, yeah agreed. No sense setting ourselves on fire to keep the other warm.
Seagoon_@aussie.zone â¨5⊠â¨months⊠ago
Sleep, lots and lots of sleep. If you can get a baby sitter over and just use the time to sleep.
donât worry about bringing the baby into your bed to get some sleep, everyone does it
and hugs
calhoon2005@aussie.zone â¨5⊠â¨months⊠ago
Hey man. Coupling and parenting is tough, believe me I know. Among other things the constant tiredness is really something that makes relationships hard, communication becomes really hard and misunderstandings, assumptions, and unfortunately resentment can build pretty quickly and easily. Weâve been going to counselling for about 18 months this time around, had a break before that and before that about another year with a different therapist. Seems like we are in similar boats as I was requesting it for a fair while before my partner agreed. If I can give you some advice for the counsellingâŚtry to go in with a completely open mind, as in donât assume you know everything about the feelings involved, situational history etc. I had to come to terms with some stuff about myself pretty quickly that I didnât even realise I did/do⌠If you both go in ready to work on things, ready to understand the others viewpoint, ready to be honestâŚthatâs the best you can do. The people you were are likely still there, the things you love about your partner are likely still there, just that theyâre being hammered by responsibilities that no one knows the full extent of before having kids. I hope things improve for you, and you and your partner can have some real understanding and compassion for each other.
Taleya@aussie.zone â¨5⊠â¨months⊠ago
so much thisâŚitâs terrifying how quickly you can become antagonistic strangers to each other when youâre both overloaded and stressed out to fuck
TinyBreak@aussie.zone â¨5⊠â¨months⊠ago
Cheers. Youâre absolutely right about communication. Never something weâve excelled at. In retrospect really something we shoulda locked down BEFORE putting the relationship of a pressure cooker of a kid.