Comment on Daily discussion thread: š Wednesday, April 24, 2024
RustyRaven@aussie.zone āØ11ā© āØmonthsā© agoI just had another chat with Mum about this. They technically can admit him to a palliative unit for respite, but they donāt actually have any places available. Dadās also refused to have assistance with showering etc. in the home. Itās a frustrating situation, especially as we really donāt know how long it is going to go on for. If itās only another week then itās not worth the effort of pushing to organise something, but if It goes on another month or more then it would be. A crystal ball would be very helpful at this point.
Eagle@aussie.zone āØ11ā© āØmonthsā© ago
If heās still up and about, even if only to the toilet, he probably has a little bit to go yet although things can change pretty quickly. And sometimes itās the push that they need to get going (I donāt mean to sound crass, long term community nurse) while things stay the same for him, he stays the same. But changes can trigger changes, and your mum needs some help. In similar situations, weāve helped the wife with showering, saying itās to help prevent falls or to assess the bathroom or come up with some suggestions to make things easierā¦ After a little bit, wife steps out and all the sudden you have some services in place and weāll be back again tomorrow. It takes some skilled clinicians to make it happen, and sadly thereās less and less of that around. Itās a tough situation youāre in, but donāt be afraid to keep trying to get services in, heāll get to the point he canāt be bothered arguing any more!
RustyRaven@aussie.zone āØ11ā© āØmonthsā© ago
I donāt think heās got enough breath to really argue now! Walking across the room and back leaves hiim exhausted and sounding like a steam train. Unfortunately Mum is the one who is in the position to make decisions and she is not at all assertive. They will both keep saying they are fine even when they are not. They are also regional and have a lot less services available which makes it a bit harder to organise things too.
Itās a frustrating position to be in, but they are both adults capable of making their own decisions so there is not a lot I can really do, especially when I am a couple of hours drive away. I find it a bit disappointing that no one involved is pushing to do a bit more, surely they have a lot of clients that are reluctant to ask for help and should know how to deal with that? It would have to be obvious to all of the doctors etc. that have been dealing with him that heās having trouble with self care, anyone with a nose could tell he is not showering at the very least.
Sorry to vent at you like this, itās just really frustrating!
Eagle@aussie.zone āØ11ā© āØmonthsā© ago
No need to apologise, I work in the sector and I get it! Itās not unusual for people (especially men) to struggle during the time, and their partners are just keeping on keeping on. Sheās doing a fantastic job honouring his wishes and not rocking the boat. I mean this with the best of intentions; hopefully it wonāt be long and his suffering will ease. If you need to yell or vent without judgement Iām here.