Maybe she isn’t explaining very well or maybe he is ignoring what she has said because it seems contradictory to him. At any rate, there is definitely communication problems here that need to be worked out ASAP if this relationship has any hope.
He would be uninformed because its a very obscure situation to be in in the real world.
I’ll admit to being bias, but I have lots of ace friends. Granted I am already part of the queer community and I take your larger point that allo people would have trouble understanding this, but we are less obscure than you might think. There is a lot of shame and stigma around saying “I don’t want to have sex”, most people take it as an invitation to “fix you”.To speak nothing of the boundary trouble allo/ace relationships have. I don’t know you, but I’d bet hard cash money that someone in your life is shades of ace.
DillyDaily@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Yeah, as a kinky asexual myself, it seems like she hasn’t been very open in communicating her relationship to kink. Especially when your partner is allosexual, it’s so important to explain why you like to participate instead kinky activities as an asexual and where your boundaries begin and end.
For allosexual people, sex and kinks have a venn diagram that’s basically a circle, and failing to communicate the extend of your interest in kinks as an asexual is just setting the entire relationship up to fail because you’re inevitably going to have mismatching expectations from kink play unless you make sure you’re both on the same page before you start.
His confusion is completely understandable, as is her identity as a kinky asexual. They just need to talk to each other.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Honestly not even. I’m in a power exchange relationship and yes I find my mistress attractive, but our dynamic is to a scene what marriage is to sex. Yes there’s an implication we do it and all four are connected to us, but also I’m not getting off on being told to get her coffee when I want to stay in bed.
SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Wait, so you are the lezbian, but you aren’t the captain!?
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 months ago
She’s my admiral