I work in a place that’s closed off to the public by Federal Law, where you need to badge in, just a janitor, nothing fancy, they make us watch training videos and stuff. They warn us to pay maximum attention, because we’ll be barred from the site if we fail, losing our jobs in the process.

And the questions are things like

“Which of the following is safe to drink? A) Filtered Water, B) Literal Poison, C) Lava, D, A School Bus”

It’s so blatantly rigged in the favor of the test taker that I suspect they literally wouldn’t even have the test if it wasn’t a legal requirement.

We also keep getting tested for things that don’t even make sense, like recently we were meant to watch a thing on where and when it’s safe to take a smoke break… Despite the fact that tobacco and marijuana are banned form the site and will be confiscated by security if we bring any… So what exactly are they smoking

Oh right, we’re meant to be smoking chocolate, forgot the Troy McClure film.

Seriously though, most of my training is entirely irrelevant as they involve scenarios I’d never be in due to the nature of my job, scenarios I’m literally not allowed to be in, or scenarios that don’t even exist in the first place…

And the questions are always things like

“If your supervisor asks you to do something illegal should you…” and the answers are non-sequitur alongside the real answer, like - A) Report it to the company hotline for illegal activity 555-555-5555 B) Oppress Women & Minorities, C) Run naked into a blizzard, D) Jump off a cliff and into spikes, or E) Pray to Magi-Chan Sonichu in order to hasten the coming of the Dimensional Merge"

The most subtle examples of this are when they ask a question, and one of the answers is suspiciously and overly detailed, while the others are so overly generic that it’s like they wrote the right answer for one, and then just whatever they can think of off the top of their heads.