It is not like you start a romantic relationship if you ask for a date. The date is the opportunity to learn more about you two. Dont ask to meet at your or their place. Make it a public place so it is no problem to end the date and just walk away.
Comment on Asking a girl out for comic book store date?
angrystego@lemmy.world 3 months agoI think the asking for a date right away strategy doesn’t really work with everyone. You can be already sure you want to date her, but she can feel she doesn’t know you well enough yet and asking directly like that could feel like you’re too fast for her. And it could close the door for you. It’s ok to get to know one another a bit before you go out officially.
Reucnalts@feddit.de 3 months ago
skulkingaround@sh.itjust.works 3 months ago
From what OP wrote, they aren’t total strangers given he knows she likes comics. He sounds fairly young so I’m guessing she’s in his social circle or someone from school. If they were total strangers or just met for the first time, then yeah I’d say it would be a good idea to strike up a casual conversation or two before asking them out. You just really don’t want to develop strong feelings for them before you ask them out. It’s a recipe for pain if she says no, and can make things pretty awkward if they’re going to have to keep seeing each other regularly.
EatATaco@lemm.ee 3 months ago
But also being wishy-washy can close the door for you too if you, such as if you end up in a friendzone from which you can’t escape. The difference is that if you are forward with your intentions, you are being honest. If you mask them because you are trying to build some rapport first before to get what you want, you are trying to manipulate them.
Akrenion@programming.dev 3 months ago
Getting to know someone is what dates are for. If that closes the door they were never gonna work out. Don’t force love on people by disguising it. Life is too short for games.
nandeEbisu@lemmy.world 3 months ago
I think it’s a cultural thing, if I meet someone in certain contexts it’s better to start with coffee or drinks after work and feel each other out 1 on 1, and in others like an app or singles event, just ask them out. I also guess some people would call the first thing a date.