Open seating facilitating C o l l a b o r a t i o n, my friend. It’s the newest in a long line of corporate circle-jerk KPIs.

Quarterly losses got the shareholders on your back?

Mandate more collaborations!

Employees realizing their worth got the shareholders on your back?

Mandate more collaborations!

Feeling insecure about your authority got the shareholders on your back?

Mandate more collaborations!

The high mount of time spent collaborating on Teams/Slack got the shareholders on your back?

Mandate more collaborations!

Some other company’s Exec bragging about their greater number of collaborations got the shareholders on your back?

Mandate more collaborations!

What’s the easiest most effortless method to generate more collaborations without having to use any brain power whatsoever?

Copy what other CEOs who’ve failed have done and change nothing because you’re a lazy hack but tell yourself it’ll work perfectly because you’re a snowflake and smarter than everyone else! 🌹🌹Return to Office! 🌹🌹

When it doesn’t work, what do you do?

Blame the workers for not collaborating right! YAAAAAAAAAY!!!