Comment

Comment on what has worked for you to stop getting angry thinking about people who hurt you?

I got revenge for them having fucked with me. Unfortunately, once I calmed down I realized that as a result of my actions I had burned a bridge that in retrospect, I’d have rather not burned.

So now I try to think really hard about whether someone deserves the way I treat them.

source

Sort:hotnew top

Buddahriffic@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
Also keep in mind that sometimes you can burn bridges you didn’t intend to burn in the process of burning the one you did intend to.

Others can observe and judge without having their own pony in the race. Hell, sometimes they would even be on your side if they knew all of the information but they don’t and might not care to hear it or believe it once they’ve passed their initial judgment on the revenge act. Or you might never even know that they’ve burned your bridge because of that and it just looks like they’ve grown more distant over time.

source
richieadler@lemmy.myserv.one ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
What instance if needing a burned bridge to be intact can you describe?

source
- Scubus@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  An ex was going out of their way to humiliate me, presumably because they were hurting. I revealed one of their secrets and effectively ruined their social life. Years later after going through shitloads of therapy I realized that despite what they did to me, I still wanted to be friends with them. Unfortunately, due to my actions they no longer want to be friends with me.
  
  source
  - richieadler@lemmy.myserv.one ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    
    Years later after going through shitloads of therapy I realized that despite what they did to me, I still wanted to be friends with them.
    
    Was the therapist religious? That sounds too much like “the other cheek” to me…
    
    source
    Scubus@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    I think they are? But I am extremely anti-religion so we haven’t discussed it much.
    
    I came to that conclusion on my own though. Our breakup was bad enough to get me diagnosed with PTSD, so I tended to think about her a lot, and come up with my own ideas which i run by my therapist to make sure they’re not monumentally stupid.
    
    source