Hey yeah sorry, I wrote the message super early in the morning, i’ll try to provide more context. To answer a few of your questions i’m a black male, and i’m extremely skinny, i don’t smell bad or anything, I feel as if I have the best hygiene out of anybody I know.

Honestly I don’t have a lot of money, but I have enough for a one way ticket and thens ome. I graduated high school almost 3 years ago, and I ideally I wanted to be a comic artist of some kind, already making a book with the intention to fully publish it. I have an online following too, but it’s been on the decline as this whole situation with my ex girlfriend happened, where I had an assumption that she may have cheated on me during our relationship as she became extremely distant from me towards the end of it. then somebody told her this and she basically started a smear campaign on me, getting the information from pretty much every person i’ve met over the past 5 years to post and say insane allegations about me, some even coming to my house at night. majority of these people have only had 2 conversations with me max, and some i haven’t spoken to since i was around 15-16, none of them having any valid proof other than hearsay but I digress. None of them want to talk to me about it, they just block me and assume I don’t know what they’re saying about me despite posting it publicly.

It tanked any good will I had where I currently live and now i’m getting rejected by local artist vending events and none of the fellow artists I met want to talk to me. I had a birthday party planned with some of them and the invite list went from 40 to 9.

I’m typically always the one to leave friendship groups as I can sense when i’m no longer wanted. But as soon as I do, people turn on me immediately and harass me for seemingly no reason. I don’t know this is relevant, but all of these people saying these things about me are white, usually white women. Historically as a teenager, I was somewhat problematic but I would usually apologise for my actions and try to make amends. Nowadays I either don’t talk to people, or when I do I try to be as approachable as I can. I feel like sometimes I put on an act to try and be as funny as possible, and i’m scared that everybody secretly thought I was annoying or something.

With my living situation, my house is quite literally falling apart. I’ve lived here for around 11 years. My mum yells at me a lot, usually whenever something breaks even though I tell her it’s not my fault. She keeps saying we’re still looking for a house, but she’s been saying this for the past 5 years and it’s gotten to a point where there is literal black mold growing in the corner of my room due to internal water damage she refuses to help fix. Our toilet broke, only 2 out of the 4 sinks in our house work, there’s no ventilation and every time I alert her about something else breaking she demands I give her money even though she knows I don’t work at the moment. I only left my last job due to receiving several racist and creepy comments from my coworkers, so I relied on my art stalls but now that’s been taken away from me too.

I’ve tried my hardest to change for the better, I can be impulsive at times, but I feel like i’ve already grown alot since high school ended for me. I still do have friends, but I just don’t want to reside where I currently live. I’m also okay with the cold, I used to live in a country with a similar climate.