Comment on Should I move out?

OwOarchist@pawb.social ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

There’s not nearly enough information here for anyone to make a well-informed decision for you or give you any very specific advice.

What’s your education? Who do you currently live with (it sounds like you haven’t moved out to your own place yet)? What are your job prospects? How much money and other assets do you currently have? What do you want to accomplish with your life? Which country, if either, do you hold citizenship in? What’s your ethnicity? (I would ask gender, but I can already tell just from the way you write.) Are people treating you badly because of something like your sexual preferences, religion, politics, or drug/alcohol use? Could it be because you’re overweight, ugly, or smelly? (No hate, just trying to figure out why it feels to you everyone is treating you badly.) Do you have any mental or physical health issues? What do you mean when you say everyone is treating you terribly – is it possible that (perhaps due to some mental health issues/depression) you’re reading more negativity into their interactions than they actually intend? Have you talked to any of them about it? Have you asked them why they dislike you? Who is this Auntie, and how well do you know her? Do you like her? Does she like you?


I’ll do what I can with some general – and admittedly contradictory – advice.

A) If your life now sucks, you absolutely should make a change. And moving to the other side of the world could indeed be a big change that really turns your life around and makes everything much better. Don’t be afraid of change. A lot of people get stuck in terrible situations when they don’t need to be because they’re afraid of anything different. It sounds like you’ve got a golden opportunity here to make a big change in your life without the barriers most people have to deal with: it sounds like you could make the move for cheap or free, and you don’t have any romantic partner or children or even pets to worry about bringing with you. This is an opportunity a lot of people don’t get.

But on the other hand,

B) Wherever you go, you’re still you. You say that even after self-reflecting, you can’t see any reason why everyone around you would treat you so badly … but there must be some reason. If you meet one asshole in a day, they’re the asshole. If everyone you meet is an asshole, it’s probably because you’re the asshole, and they’re responding in kind. Not to disparage you too much – after all, like I said, we don’t have enough information here to know. But if people are treating you badly because something you’re doing is treating them badly, then that’s not likely to change in Canada. It may be better to focus on changing yourself, rather than changing your circumstances. (That said, if you do decide you need to change yourself, getting a new start in a new place can be an excellent opportunity to do so, without being weighed down so much with the baggage of your past. The people you meet will only know the new you, which can make it easier to be a new you. It can be difficult to change yourself when everyone around you still expects you to be your old self.)


This is sounding pretty negative, isn’t it?

Well, maybe I can offer some better, less contradictory advice:

C) Canada is often cold, particularly if you’re not living near the coast. How do you feel about being really heckin’ cold half the year? Some people don’t mind it, some can’t stand it – if you’re one of the latter, then maybe moving is a bad idea, especially if it’s to somewhere inland.

D) Whichever place you end up in, consider getting a dog. Treat the dog well, and it will love you no matter what. It sounds like you could use some unconditional love in your life. A dog might not be quite as good as getting that from other people, but it’s pretty close, and a lot more of a sure thing. It may be just the thing to get you by until you get your life figured out.

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