In the south there are people who believe that as soon as their kids are able to work (ie: not an adult) that they should start providing for themselves. And by that I mean, “You are responsible to work, but not with money. So give it to me.” It’s maddening, but that’s the normalization occurring here and everyone seems to be okay with that. This mindset is weaponized once the kid turns adult - “keep giving me all your money or get out.”

Sure. Parents becoming landlords and neatly negating any benefit from their children accruing savings or experiencing financial responsibility. And then the end result is kids leaving the house hand-to-mouth probably sooner than would have otherwise been wise, to get an overpriced apartment in a shitty part of town just because it means “freedom” from their awful elders.

But that’s bad.

Ideally, you stay at home and bank the balance of your salary and share meals with family rather than eating out and enjoy the efficiencies of shared utilities and car pooling and yadda-yadda-yadda. And then you help your parents when they’re getting too old to take care of the house on their own, which guarantees the place doesn’t fall apart before it’s sold or inherited. And you bank more of your earnings, rather than paying it all out to a landlord. And you see more of your siblings, before you all go your separate ways. And you have a genuinely good final few years as a family that you can use to model the family you hope to build with future loved ones in your own home.

That’s good.

I think another misunderstanding is the multigenerational aspect of American culture (especially in the south) in regards to this specific case.

I mean, I grew up in a Texas suburb. And I dated around with people from a variety of economic backgrounds.

So I’ve seen the full spectrum. From “If you’re old enough to work, you’re my tenant not my child” mentality, that pushes people out way too soon and sets them back a decade or more in terms of quality of life. To “I need you to help keep the lights on, so please get a job” situations, where people stayed at home because it was way cheaper than going four figures out of pocket to pretend to be independent. To the “here’s a trust fund, go buy yourself a house before you turn 30, just be back for Thanksgiving dinner”, that builds strong economic foundations and deep bonds between generations, but only because you had rich parents who could afford it.

In my experience, young adults living a few extra years with their parents and building up a savings/retirement early on is generally good for them long term.

Getting a job where you’re traveling all the time and living out of a suitcase in an apartment you barely recognize and going on Tinder dates (or straight up paying pros) because making money is more important than building relationships is generally awful.

And then coming out of school to a family that wants you to GTFO immediately, because you’re queer or your politics are wrong or your parents are just libertarian psychos who think their kids are parasites, is the absolute worst.

The multigenerational aspect takes lots of shapes. It doesn’t have to be parents exploiting their kids or kids exploiting their parents. It can be a happy time and make for a smoother transition to adulthood. I know cause I’ve seen it happen. And I’ve seen the alternatives when it doesn’t happen.

Lots of kids fail to launch. They go off, they fuck up, they spend their 20s racking up huge debts just trying to pretend at independence, and then they end up right back at home again. Or worse, living out of a car or on someone else’s couch or trapped in a relationship with a person they can’t stand, because they couldn’t get out of the parents’ house fast enough.