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Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

This is such a boring thing that people say all the time.

Lying is normal. You should be lying. Lying isn’t morally wrong if it is not done for morally wrong reasons. My child should be lying to me. I should be lying to my child.

And my children will understand the difference between lying to e.g. prevent a surprise to be ruined and lying to avoid facing consequences.

It is such a black and white thinking. It is so boring too. I will teach my children violence because 1 day, they might need it too.

And sidenote: e.g. telling your child that they can “trust” the security or the police if they get lost in a large crowd, is a lie. But one that is true enough that the child is safer with them than alone in a crowd. Telling your child that e.g. a electrical signal is travelling from the tv station through a wire to your tv, would be a lie if there is some fiber cables somewhere between them, or a satellite connection. Yes, simplifications are lying. We will lie anyway to enable them to navigate the far too complex world and slowly learn about the real underlying complexities.

And obviously, there is a difference between making them write letters to Santa and telling them Santa brings gifts for Christmas.

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mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

This is such a boring thing that people say all the time.

What a boring response to an argument.

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- Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  What argument? You parroted an question. That you think you made an argument, highlights that you parroted the question. Even if you want to understand the question as an argument, a basic inspection of the implied premise that lying is bad, is enough to dismiss the argument as lazy and surface-level.
  
  If you don’t like it when people call your output boring, say something worthwhile.
  
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GarboDog@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
Nothing in life is black and white, we do agree on that, but when our child comes to ask who should they trust, we would say: any social worker such as a police officer, fireman, medic, social worker, anyone you can find. If you can’t find anyone then go to a big store and tell them your lost or need help. Overall would make sure they remover our number or at least where we live (on a map) similar to how our dad was with us.

As for the little things, well they’re going to ask you a lot of questions!! And the joy is to help guide them to an answer, help them discover a solution, make it fun for them to learn and discover!

Do you have satellite TV/antenna? Then look up and research and read all about it with them! Show them what an satellite attena/normal attena looks like and point to the satellites above among the stars! Look up the satellites, there are public maps, make a weekend trip to the local science center/museum and they might even have a satellite on display, or better yet more fantastic things for them to ask questions!

If you have wired tv, the same process! Talk about how light works and how we found ways to make glass send signals! How those signals are sent and more and more! They’ll get more and more curious about the world and its wonders and want to learn more and more about it!

Shrugging it off and giving an half assed answer imo isn’t lying, it’s neglecting the question and their curiosity. We want our child to ask as many questions- more than we can answer!! Make them curious to their fingertips and go to the library with us and read all the books they can ever want. Grow up curious hungry for answers, and show them how wonderful our world is!

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- Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago
  I agree with you. My point is simply that I will “lie” to them in some ways. I have to lie to them that social workers are “safe” to help them to find us while knowing that dangerous people would seek out these jobs. And I will have to make it seem safer as it is because a young child is unable to understand the concept of likelihood. And I want them to start talking to a stranger (e.g. the policeman), they need the confidence that it is safe.
  
  Eventually, they will understand that we are simplying things when we taught them about the world.
  
  In both cases, I don’t think a child will feel like we were lying them. Just like I didn’t feel lied to.
  
  “Normalizing lying” is just a silly critic.
  
  I am opposed to making them write Santa a letter or making them “meet” Santa. As i think there is a difference between
  
  telling them about the concept
  
  letting them watch a christmas movies
  
  maybe telling them that Santa comes when they go to bed
  
  And making them interact with “santa”.
  
  That is my line. I am not saying, it is better or worse than yours or theirs. But that discussion is on a different level than “Normalizing lying”.
  
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