Comment on Anon likes a woman
FireRetardant@lemmy.world 8 hours agoI’m worried about the std thing myself. I keep going over in my head how to pitch it to my next partner. I went raw in my last partner and i know she got around. If she offered raw to me, she likely did it for others as well. Im probably gonna get a test done soon and be willing to get one again if they don’t believe i haven’t had other partners since that test.
Its not even about blame its just about informed consent. Like a bad result isn’t necessarily a dealbreaker for me. I know i would feel terrible if i spread something. I think for most its an ignorance is bliss thing, if they don’t know they can ignore it and not take responsibility.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
std stuff is not as black and white as folks thinks. you can have sex with an infected person and not get infected, and condoms aren’t perfect. etc.
it’s really just a matter of luck. but in my own case, oftentimes it was ‘have sex with no condom, or don’t have sex’ and she was the one demanding it so I just went along with it. a couple of times, I did very much regret it, and got myself tested and didn’t sleep with other people until I was clean. But I can only control myself. i can’t control how other people behave.
I’ve also dated a few people I insisted on using condoms with or not sleeping with them, because I was very confident they had an STD, given their self-reported behavior and drug use.
Informed consent is great… but you are not going to get it in most cases. you will just get testimony of the person and you have to use your own judgement. I’ve never seen anyone else’s STD test in my entire life, and I’ve never had a date ask me for mine. And the couple of times I brought up the topic it was violently shouted down or otherwise basically told it was a forbidden topic to ever bring up.
But online when I talk about this I get people lecturing me and flipping out at me and trying to get my comments removed as ‘hate’ because I don’t espouse this ideal scenario where we are swapping STD tests we just took two days ago and properly using condoms and dental dams and everything is this perfectly safe version of sex. I am confident that’ is just weirdos lying so they feel socially superior about it.
IN fact a couple of folks who used to preach about safe sex endlessly on what subreddit I was on… were eventually outed from the community because they had dated raped other folks in the community… which tracks for me. They were preaching and preaching about consent and safe sex and in real life they were rapists.
FireRetardant@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
I’m too old and lonely to play that shit. If talking about safe sex is gonna be rejected like that I’m just gonna leave them. I’ll give em a chance to come around and maybe we can link up again in the future but if we can’t have that conversation, well i guess we won’t be having unprotected sex. Or more likely any sex at all.