100% this. An ex of mine did this all the time and the first couple times are cute but past that it starts being obnoxious and like you said exhausting. I finally told her when she says stuff like that she’s also calling me either stupid for “settling” for her, or a liar by not believing me when I said I wanted to be with her. She stopped for a bit after that but it didn’t last long.
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pmk@piefed.ca 2 months ago
I understand needing reassurance sometimes, but constant self-deprecation can be exhausting. You try to show someone you love them and nothing works, like a black hole sucking in all your efforts. And little by little it wears you down until you do want to date someone else, but it’s not about being pretty, it’s about peace of mind.
ScriptSage@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
CultLeader4Hire@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I usually say it nicely like “you don’t think I could get a nice and hot boyfriend? Have you met me??” which seems to work most of the time
pdot4@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
Real. Dumped my ex because her self esteem was fucked. She even got jealous of my cousin when we talked.
Work on yourself…
tias@discuss.tchncs.de 2 months ago
And I bet that reinforced her low self-esteem. I’ll explain what the actual problem is but they don’t hear it, they just hear the other reasons that they invented such as “I’m not attractive enough”.
architect@thelemmy.club 2 months ago
They didn’t invent it, it’s just reinforced in society you’re not attractive unless (you spend a lot of money on surgery).
Still exhausting to deal with.