Comment on Anon's lil bro goes through his first break up
wpb@lemmy.world 2 days agoThere’s a big distinction between people’s self-image and their behavior. One’s confidence in telling a story doesn’t come from its adherence to reality, but from its internal coherence. It’s why, in user interviews, you stay away from questions like “how do you generally use feature xyz?” but rather ask things like “tell me about the last time that you did xyz”. It’s an unavoidable aspect of talking about yourself, and I’m not calling anyone a liar, but it’s something to keep in mind when talking abt stuff like this.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Yeah I know.
The issue is that most folks internally can’t see the hypocrisy in their behaviors vs their self-reports, especially in dating.
Hence the prototypical problem of ‘why can’t i find a nice person to date’… and yet when you see them chase/get excited it’s only for folks that treat them like crap. Men and women both. I’ve also had plenty of friends over the years get utterly disgusted by someone treating them well, and had that same reaction in dating experience. I’ve also deliberately treated people like crap, and was shocked and horrific how positively they responded to that treatment.
People largely behave emotionally and irrationally. Though in their heads, it’s all very rational and logical.
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 2 days ago
The fact your date went straight to violence tells a lot about them. It sounds like they were testing your boundaries. Glad you got away early, I can only imagine what would’ve happened if you’d gotten into a steady relationship then tried to break up. You didn’t just dodge a bullet, it sounds like you dodged a nuclear warhead.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 days ago
What’s more terrifying to me is how many people think she is justified in that violence, due to their rampant sexism. I’ve told that story and had women and men take her side immediately. That any violence against a man means he must deserve it.