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dohpaz42@lemmy.world 2 days ago
It sounds like you just recently friended this person. You also sound like a person who is either full throttle or nothing at all. I could be mistaken, and my apologies if I am.
Think of it like this:
When you plant a seed, you need to water it for it to grow. If you give it too much water, it’ll drown and likely not sprout into anything. If you don’t give it any water, it’ll dry up and sprout either. You’re new at this, so you might pour a little too much water, and sometimes you may not pour enough. It’s okay. Adjust and try again.
When the spout starts poking through the soil, you get excited. Come on, who wouldn’t? It’s exciting stuff. But it’s still new and the plant is still trying to get its roots firmly set in the ground. So just keep watering, give it plenty of space and sunshine , and before you know it, it should be blooming.
Mind you, sometimes no matter what you do, a plant doesn’t make it. Maybe it was your fault, maybe it was something else.
Never stop trying. Adjust and try again.
may_be@thelemmy.club 2 days ago
No, not super recently. Maybe a few months ago? So… fairly so. Anyway, yeah. I probably also have a mental disorder which is no excuse but could explain it. I’ve always been like this.
adespoton@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
A few months is recent; the plant analogy is apt here, because often you plant in the fall before the frost, then have to wait a full 6 months before you see any results. But when you see results, that doesn’t mean it’s harvest time; you’ve sometimes got another 3 months of nurture before you start seeing a harvest.
And then you’ve got to put in that effort all over again, and some plants just won’t make it.
Exiting that analogy, relationships are a dance. Meet people where they are. Pay attention to how much they’re bringing to the relationship. Bring a similar amount yourself, and carefully add a bit more over months if you see a balance there.
If you find out they just wanted a single dance, or don’t like your style, accept it, appreciate what you were able to enjoy together, and go look for another dance partner, using what you learn along the way.
may_be@thelemmy.club 2 days ago
thank you :D i just told her an apology and am waiting for a response.
dohpaz42@lemmy.world 2 days ago
I can relate. I’m a full-throttle person too. Take care of yourself.