You do know in a significant number of languages in this world when gender is unknown the masculine form is used… Some languages, for example Spanish, would even use a masculine form for when the gender is know and a group includes both boys and girls. For example Tengo tres ninos… That sentence could mean I have three boys but it also could mean I have three kids of which some might be female.
So stop trying to be proactive… You’re bad at it
thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 weeks ago
im not trying to be provocative im trying to be progressive
this is english: we have gender neutral terms, which should for many reasons be used
many people (including myself) find misgendering to be offensive, and many people (including myself) find complicity in the patriarchy offensive
and also in those other languages people and organizations still often favour gender neutral language; in spanish the forms -e or -i or -x or -@ are somewhat common, i see signage using -x or -e, and spam texts sometimes use -@
and also, why would you not adjust? saying “they” won’t hurt you
forbiddencherry@lemmy.today 4 weeks ago
Intentionally misgendering is offensive, but that’s not what happened here, in my opinion. There’s nothing in their profile so sure going neutral with they/them is probably a safer option, but defaulting to male pronouns (which traditionally are all encompassing) is also fine, IMO. If they had a preference that they cared about then they would specify it.
velma@sh.itjust.works 4 weeks ago
And @thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com doesn’t find the assumption that everyone is male, if not stated, fine.
teslekova@sh.itjust.works 4 weeks ago
Ah, but in those languages, and ours up til recently, male was the accepted gender-neutral default. We decided to change it, collectively, as part of the general nudging towards gender equality, but for many, many people, including me, it genuinely did not assume maleness to use he/him.
However, I thought it might subconsciously affect me in a reactionary conservative way to keep doing so in the face of a reasonable request to use they/them instead of he/him, so I consciously changed it.
I cannot say whether it works like that in other languages, though. French has all sorts of gender bullshit for chairs and lamps and whatever, who’s to say how it affects the mind?
forbiddencherry@lemmy.today 4 weeks ago
Right, I was disagreeing with them on those points.