If I were a billionaire, I’d make this a real product. I’d make real commercials for it. Weird commercials. The tagline would be “Go poop yourself!”

I wouldn’t worry about sales. But I’d act like I cared deeply. My commercials would become increasingly more and more deranged.

Like imagine if I hired Alex Jones to eat 6 buckets of chicken, shirtless, in a room that’s 120 degrees. Then hired a bunch of body builders to come hold him down and slap his face, and tickle his feet for 16 hours until he’s exausted, and pissed off. Then I’d tell him we’re doing another 16 hours unless he screams into the camera, and records a commercial to plead with america to buy the poop pills.

And you don’t see any of the prep work. You just see a shirtless, sweaty, red faced desprate Alex Jones yelling “YOU GOTTA POOP YOURSELF!!! PLEASE!!! I CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE!!! CONSUME THESE PILLS!!! GO POOP YOURSELF!!!”

And the next week it would be Kenny from south park. Saying 2 minutes of something you can’t understand. Followed by him pooping and exploding.

And you go to the store, and this exact box, is a real product being sold for $24.99.

And every week is another celebrity going nuts, and screaming that everybody needs to poop more.

I’d take a massive loss. It would only be done to entertain myself, and gaslight everyone.