Comment on I am fully optimized. AMA

subOrange@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

• sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  While I’m still asleep an AI-generated orchestra radiates subsonic symphonic movements into my cerebral cortex. I awaken when the symphony reaches a crescendo. I take a coffee-ginseng bath while smart contact lenses display the latest economic data. I don’t use the data for anything because that would degrade the quality of the data as it rewires my brain. Then my muscles are electrically stimulated in my electro-gym machine (a repurposed tanning bed designed by Japanese drug lords). Then my blood vessels are cleansed in a zero-G centrifuge laboratory (blood pumped out and replaced with a cleansing saline solution while the blood is filtered of all impurities and finally returned to my body). Then it’s three hours of wall-climbing while screaming at the top of my lungs.

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  • 0ops@piefed.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    This is lyrics to a King Missile song, right?

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    • sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      My evening routine consists largely in cleaning my detachable penis and running it through a series of unit tests.

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      • InfiniteStruggle@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Tell me more about this detachable penis of yours. Where would one… acquire such a tool?

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  • rain_worl@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    that seems unoptimized (i could do better)

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    • sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You’re all talk.

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      • rain_worl@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        hah! you’ll eat your words in the most inefficient manner soon! i will be fully optimised by… uhh… wow that’s a big number…

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  • garbage_world@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    God, please make it real.

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