Comment on why is it never the 'close friend' who gets shit on?
NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca 2 weeks agoIt’s so weird to me that people pre-plan cheating. You always hear the story that “it just happened”. However, now that I’m in my 40s, I’ve found that it is so often someone who spends lots of time considering it and shopping the idea around to their friends to see if they can find someone to tell them it’s ok.
white_nrdy@programming.dev 2 weeks ago
Yeah, 100%. A few of us tried to talk him out of it. 3 of us had independent 1:1 conversations with him saying it wasn’t cool. And if he’s not happy in his relationship now, it won’t magically get better (he knew that to be true) and he should break it off. However he refused, unless he had a sure thing for a relationship immediately after.
He wanted to use one of our (my SO and me) best friends as “option B” and also had graphic and very explicit fantasies about this individual. He told one of the others that was trying to have a “come to your senses” talk with him about these fantasies, unsolicited. To the point he was apparently graphically imagining fucking them after we had just hung out, while he was home laying in bed next to his Fiancee.
He also said that de wasn’t worried about the wedding coming up. The quote “whether I break it off now or a day before the wedding, its the same emotional and financial toll, so I shouldn’t rush it”. And he wouldn’t be willing to get a divorce once they had kids. He didn’t want kids, but she did, and he caved.
NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
I can see why you would stop hanging out with someone who treats people so little respect
white_nrdy@programming.dev 2 weeks ago
Yeah… And given the person whom he wanted to be “option B” is my wife’s best friend…