So much in life can change. Life is long. A decade away could be a whole new life for you, one where you no longer feel this way. Even if you feel this is never going to happen for you, all I can say is I felt the same. Then decades pass and I worked on every part of my life until I only had kind people around me. I struggled with suicide ideation from 8 years old to 36/37 years old. And then, one day without me noticing, it just stopped. Because I kicked all the mean folk out, and surrounded my life with good. I learned to accepted myself, flaws and all. There is always tomorrow.

I fed the squirrls peanuts I bought just for them this morning. Its love. Give love, get love. Life gonna beat the shit outta you, but one day it could be better. I have one friend, and three close family members, one of which I popped out myself so idk if that counts. Less people, but good people.

My step father would been happy I offed myself, I never wanted to give him satisfaction. Go for spite, find ur spite and draw hope.

I dont hate you, so go on and please keep exsisting.