Comment on Anon needs a good response
GreyEyedGhost@piefed.ca 12 hours agoBecause is not an answer. Because can be the first word in an answer, but if nothing is provided afterwards than the answer is essentially, “I believe it to be so, and I choose to provide no evidence whatsoever to support that belief.” And how do you move forward from that? In fact, your specific statement I responded to was
“Because youre doing it”
What kind of response can be made to that? There is no example, merely an assertion. There is nothing specific, merely a general response. What kind of resolution besides complete capitulation or parting ways can be made based on this statement? In fact, if I was given that response in a conversation and was feeling combative, I would be inclined to respond with, “Who’s stonewalling now?” And, given how I put because in quotes, implying a complete statement, I could argue your response to my previous comment was gaslighting.
Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works 11 hours ago
Well ask a dumb question you get a dumb answer. If someone’s being a dick I’m gonna feel like they’re being a dick because they’re being a dick. What other answer you expect? “Because im on my period and being irrational?”
GreyEyedGhost@piefed.ca 11 hours ago
If someone is behaving poorly, there are two broad reasons. They know and are choosing to (for some value of choosing) and they don’t know and are doing it anyway. If someone is being a dick and doesn’t realize why they’re being a dick, pointing it out can cause them to realize they’re being a dick, at which point they can choose to stop (again, for some value of choosing) or they can not, which puts them in category of knowing and choosing to. All that assumes that they accept your assessment of the situation is correct.
Now, as for your specific alternative? Having been in this type of situation, I would go with something along the lines of, “Aww, honey that sucks. Let’s stop arguing about how your feelings about the state of the kitchen aren’t my problem. Now, do you want cuddles before or after I tidy the kitchen, and where does chocolate and/or ice cream fit into this process?” Now, granted, my wife has learned to accept that my stupid, overly-specific ass is just that and is willing to say things like that on occasion since subtle is only a theoretical concept around here.
Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works 11 hours ago
I think you’re confusing the words how and why. Why they’re being a dick is a question for a therapist, unresolved childhood trauma, insecurities etc.
How they’re being a dick is the question you seem to be referring to. They don’t realize that what they’re doing is wrong or hurtful, because they don’t see how their actions are affecting their partner.