Social punishment isnt inherent to the social relation we call monogamy, thats social norms, a connected but different thing. We can alle agree social norms often disparage people, but again different conversation.
And its not ‘a fact’ that people in monogamous relations have consent over the other persons body, only their own. If the other person doesnt want to do monogamy, they are free to pursue that type of relation on their own. Thats their choice, as it is the monogamous persons choice to not stay in a relationship with he partner that doesnt want a monogamous relationship. Insisting they have to be together, irregardles of the wishes of the other person, sounds unproductive and unhealthy to me.
“We treat” i dont. I recognize societal norms propogate one type of relationship, but that is once again a different conversation than the supposed ethicales of a social dynamic. The dynamic an sich is different from the norms around it.
Dont let your grievences with the system become judgements of the people caught within.
TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
I swear, erotador makes one small comment about being poly and it turns into a winding ass thread about the ethics of monogamy. I may be poly, but if I was in a relationship with the expectation of monogamy, I’d feel betrayed if they then broke that expectation without telling me. The problem wouldn’t be that they slept with someone, the problem would be that they lied. They would be free to be with whoever they want, but all of my relationships are contingent on open communication. If that communication isn’t there, then the agreement is broken.
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I mentioned somewhere here that I consider putting such expectations on someone unethical. If my partner has an affair they would tell me and I would be happy for her or neutral, but if they were hiding it, and lying then there was no really a relationship to begin with, just a lie that should end sooner than later.
And in another thread, I said that the social punishment for people who cheat is too severe, often being social isolation. For an infraction I would personally consider as bad as cheating on a diet. For something that causes no harm to anyone.
tutter@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Do you actually think its unethical to expect people not to lie? Trying to understand here, very far from my own set of beliefs :)
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
just saying, that if they need to lie to fulfill their needs, then there isn’t a relationship to begin with.