Seems like you were going for a bit of a twist ending where the letter is actually a threat. It didn’t really land for me.
The threat could be more concise and pointed which would give it more impact. Instead of speculating about how humans may react and then saying the aliens will counter it, maybe just say something that amounts to “resistance is futile”.
Its also not exactly clear to me what “the problem” is. Its that their race will someday come to an end? There is a lot to be said about this idea and I think you should explore the philosophy of that more. How does prolonging their existence save them? Seems to me like they’re still left with the inevitable.
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 2 months ago
docs.google.com/document/d/…/edit?usp=drivesdk
tried putting the text in a comment, but it’s too long, I enabled comments.
KurtVonnegut@mander.xyz 2 months ago
I loved it. Thanks for sharing!
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Given who you are, it means a lot.
Mandarbmax@lemmy.world 2 months ago
That was a good read! I liked the pacing, the dawning not quite horror.
vala@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
I liked it. It seems to fall apart at the end a bit but this is a really cool concept for sure.
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 2 months ago
if you don’t mind. could you elaborate? it’s ok if you don’t, I am rudely asking for free labor.
vala@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
Seems like you were going for a bit of a twist ending where the letter is actually a threat. It didn’t really land for me.
The threat could be more concise and pointed which would give it more impact. Instead of speculating about how humans may react and then saying the aliens will counter it, maybe just say something that amounts to “resistance is futile”.
Its also not exactly clear to me what “the problem” is. Its that their race will someday come to an end? There is a lot to be said about this idea and I think you should explore the philosophy of that more. How does prolonging their existence save them? Seems to me like they’re still left with the inevitable.