Comment on question for the culture
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 5 days agoI would never agree to those terms, so they don’t apply to me.
the problem is that society, states, and religion pushes those standards as if they are the only correct form of relationships. they are arbitrary rules based on ancient forms of control, where women were seen as free household labor and baby factories.
KindnessIsPunk@lemmy.ca 5 days ago
And that’s fine that’s a completely reasonable conclusion. But the stance you took earlier wasn’t a personal one it was one that it wasn’t right for anyone.
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 5 days ago
still agree with that. it’s a stupid standard that hurts and shackles people rather than help them
so many loving relationships are torn because an affair, even an emotional one, even if one partner does noting but just develops feelings (100% out of their control), or worse, jealousy. all because monogamy is the standard.
ask elder people who were married through most of their lives and they all have stories of those hardships and how it hurt them.
wouldn’t it be nicer and simpler of cheating was viewed with the same severity as cheating in a diet? rather than being a devastating blow to a relationship and might even lead to severe social punishment?
We are animals we need connections and we aren’t always in control regarding what connections form.
KindnessIsPunk@lemmy.ca 5 days ago
So am I correct in saying under your framework monogamy can never be chosen freely? Or would it be at more accurate to say that if it was chosen it’ll be chosen via action and not agreement?
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Humans can’t control what they feel, you cannot agree to not develop feelings or interests on other people, doing so is inherently dishonest, not to your partner but to yourself. and expecting it from your partner is equally unfair.
yes, two people can agree that they expect all their romantic and sexual needs to come from within the couple and promise not to engage romantically or sexually with other people. But if it wasn’t because it is the social norm, that would seem a strange and ridiculous expectation.