Elections 2028:

90y old republican with dementia, salivating to the microphone

Vs

88y old democrat on wheelchair, suffering terminal cancer, taking painkillers directly to the bloodstream.

Unfortunately during the debate, republican saliva shorted out cables in the microphone, while Democrat fell into coma.

Elections are won by the republican, democrats are weeping on bluesky, wondering why people voted for a shitty president again.

The End.