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Comment on Getting told by Lemmy to stop taking drugs

WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

I literally had mushrooms make me stop taking drugs. Absolutely destroyed my ego that night and I never touched anything again. Well I tried to smoke weed a couple of times after that but it just gave me severe panic attacks. Even the thought of taking mushrooms again gives me chills. I had taken them hundreds of times and I guess they just finally said, “you’re finished. You’ve completed drugs.” I am still an advocate for psychedelics though, they have so much to offer.

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LodeMike@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
I know it’s hard to describe such things but what is ego death like? Is it smashing free will illusion or something?

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- WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  For me it was more like actual death. I quite literally thought I was dying and begged my wife to call 911. Fortunately she is experienced and did her best to keep me contained.
  
  Started with time becoming very mixed up or out of order. She was answering questions I hadn’t asked yet and I was perceiving reality as a single experience rather than a normal flow of action/reaction like everything was happening all at once.
  
  Like you said, there are not words for this, language is far too simple to convey the idea but it humbled me to the point of non-existence.
  
  I knew for a fact that life was not a series of events, it was all the same event happening in a singular moment totally separated from any idea of time as we normally perceive it. At that point it no longer mattered if I was dying/dead/alive… I was all of those things. Always have been.
  
  Eventually I could no longer speak or even walk. Speaking, walking, thinking, all of that implied a forward flow of time which no longer was the case for me. My wife said I just laid on the ground eyes wide and filled with tears. She said she tried to talk to me and keep me calm but I never responded at all. She even put her Fitbit on me just to be sure my vitals were good, which of course they were.
  
  What started as terrifying simply became so intense I couldn’t even fear anything any longer. I just…was but also wasn’t.
  
  That lasted for about 30 minutes per my wife’s judgement. It was infinite for me at the time. Even after the peak it took several hours before I could speak correctly or form content thoughts.
  
  Next day I knew for certain I was done with all drugs. I didn’t need them anymore. Never did really.
  
  I wish I could tell you what is was like but all I can really do is explain certain simple ideas such as what I said above. We are the universe experiencing itself subjectively and the idea that I or anyone is actually important is exceedingly ridiculous.
  
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  - fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    Out of order time is really disorienting
    
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    remotelove@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    LPT, keep a stopwatch going for psychedelics. I’ll start a timer on my phone when I drop and it helps snap me out of any kind of time related disorientation as I peak. For your average time dilation stuff, it’s awesome. If I can’t see my phone, then time probably is the last thing on my mind.
    
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  - gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    
    the idea that I or anyone is actually important is exceedingly ridiculous.
    
    I have come to the same conclusion. If you don’t take yourself seriously, you’ll live a happy life.
    
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  - LodeMike@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    Thanks. That’s about what I expected you to say. I don’t really do psychedelics too much but if I get really high on weed I experience something similar to shattering illusion of physical mass (everything is just points in space) and time (determinism, etc.) I often times see time as one thing because in determinism the future is knowable and thus everything there has already happened.
    
    Nothing close to what you experienced.
    
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remotelove@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
I attribute mushrooms to finally breaking my years long journey as a fairly committed alcoholic.

The decisions or realizations people can have during an intense trip tend to be really sticky for a very long time regardless if it’s a good trip or a bad one. It’s the nature of the beast.

But mushrooms be like you described sometimes. I won’t go near the dosages I was taking when I was kicking booze. 1-2 grams every once in a while is just fine for me.

After my last power trip (+5 grams) I saw what I needed to see and probably will never go in that range again. It was a life changing trip and thankfully not a bad one. However, when the mushrooms speak to you like that, you listen. They told me I was done and I was ready to heal on my own.

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- WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  That’s awesome. They are very powerful and very wise. The insight they can afford people come with such clarity you can literally feel like a giant idiot when facing your struggles or addictions. It’s a shame we can’t always see through the fog of our problems in such a way but I am eternally grateful that this planet came with its own troubleshooting tools.
  
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  - remotelove@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Yeah, its a hell of an experience many people should have. (Many people probably also shouldn’t.) At the core of it all, I believe that being able to view problems through a very different lense is a big part of how psychedelics work when used for deep therapy. In many cases, I could see and interact with my emotions and feelings like they were an independent thing. I could almost visualize and touch my own emotions. Being able to see through my problems and get closure for issues that were supposed to be long in my past was a very beautiful thing. Trippy stuff, quite literally.
    
    Also, (and this is really for others that are reading this) I am not really joking with my personification of a mushroom. I used to think that was just some crazy burned-out hippy talk, but there is so much more to it than that. Yes. A mushroom talking is absolutely a hallucination. That isn’t what that literally is though…
    
    It’s more of a very primal, internal dialogue. It’s like the voice that we choose not to listen to when we have a “gut feeling” about something and can’t vocalize the concern. It’s the voice in your head that always knows the right decisions to make even if we brush it off through a normal day. That is the mushroom talking and it’s got a really powerful voice if you ever choose to follow Alice down that rabbit hole far enough.
    
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