Comment on Wasted potential.

• Salamanderwizard@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  I love his voice. I’m no singer but I sing in my car, no matter whose in it, and I feel I can nail his songs the best.

  The song Demons and the song Whiskey hit me in my core.

  Both, and I know this is gonna sound dumb, but my addiction to weed and rage. I grew up in a very violent house. We didn’t talk things out, we fought, even if we were wrong. It’s addicting to have that level of rage. Seeing red, being out of your body. One day like 6 yrs ago I heard Demons.

  I was riding home by myself from Tifton to Valdosta. I broke down crying driving on back roads at night cause I felt the song in my heart. Then Whiskey a while after, and it made me see how much I was relying on weed to mask my emotions. I still smoke. But it’s a lot less and I am open to myself and anyone who does something to affect(?) my emotions.

  Then like I said, the new song oh my god. Boy. My mama having cancer. She raised me. She believes in God, and I don’t. It got me to thinking that maybe I don’t know and that all this has happened and will happen and if there is a god, we don’t know anything about them, so why make assumptions? Just feel the grass grow between your toes.

  Whew. Sorry brother/sister, I got to running my fingers and couldn’t stop.

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  • AFallingAnvil@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Hey man, I’m glad you’re able to have some honest introspection whatever the methods used to get there. Never be apologetic about sharing genuine emotions in a healthy way, life’s too short.

    I grew up in an angry household too, I was the primary inheritor of my abusive father’s anger. My father lost his family because he couldn’t control his emotions, and watching that happen is a big part of the reason I mastered my anger after some missteps in my youth.

    You’re not wrong in how you describe it, just being angry and letting loose is addictive in a way. I’m grateful I had people supporting me as I learned how to break the cycle, I hope you’ve got a support circle just as strong as mine was.

    As for all you’re going through and what your mom is dealing with, I’m sending you a big brotherly hug over the internet, I wish you nothing but the best. If you ever need someone to lend and ear and talk to, please don’t be a stranger and drop me a DM.

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    • Salamanderwizard@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Thanks, brother. I appreciate it so much. You got no idea. I definitely do. My partner, her and my son are the reasons I stopped myself and took control of it. We figured I am probably bipolar. We’ve taken steps to fight it. Knowing when I am having a mood swing, and stuff like that. She also calls me out on my bullshit. Like when I into the mindset that everyone is against me etc etc. I got very lucky to have a partner whose smart enough to see I’m not just a rage monster. It’s helped me learn to be open with my feelings without exploding.

      Thanks brother for the kind words. This is why I love forums like this. I find some of the kindest people on em. I always feel so lucky to be able to talk to folks like you.

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      • AFallingAnvil@lemmy.ca ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I’m just glad to see a man in the process of bettering himself even when easy, cop out, answers are everywhere. You’re doing a hard thing but with that comes the knowledge that you’re doing it right, no shortcuts.

        I could say to be a better person for your partner or your son, but honestly most of all be a better man for /you/ because you deserve to know what a fulfilled life is like and feel safe and comfortable in the quiet hours.

        The journey may never end, but it definitely does get easier and more enjoyable if you just keep growing from what came before. All the best to you!

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