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Comment on Is the "Gen z stare" a real thing?

GenX here. I think it’s the name that’s given to a small collection of social mismatches between the generations’ explanations of one another and their social behaviors. Gen Z in my view do not place much value on social graces as I define them. I define them as things like “greet someone before you ask for something,” and “say thank you before you leave.” I try to do these things at all times and I find GenZ do not always return them or give any sign they even saw them. When a cashier hands me my change and it’s time for me to go, I will say “thank you,” and imho it’s good social graces for them to say “thank you” as well or “you’re welcome” or even just “have a nice day.” But with GenZ cashiers, I say thank you, and then realize they had stopped paying any attention to my presence even before I said it. The second the change has been handed to me, it seems they consider the transaction over, period.

This is not always or even most of the time. But it’s something that happens often enough to notice as a pattern. Once you’ve heard the stereotype of the “GenZ stare” you can start to experience confirmation bias of it. And really you never know if the person you’re facing is GenZ or not.

So it’s not a thing one should over-think. But yes I think there is something real behind it. Like a lot of stereotypes, it’s not fair to apply to everyone, but it may have some origin in reality somehow.

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rumba@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

But with GenZ cashiers, I say thank you, and then realize they had stopped paying any attention to my presence

Generally, what works for me is to say it like you mean it. Say it like they just walked across the store to pick up a can that rolled off your cart. throw a little ‘unexpected’ in there, light smile, and then tell them to have a good day. If you don’t sell it, they’re going to assume you’re going through the motions just to feed the machine. They’ll blip back to you for a second from the next mundane task, get a smirk or a little grin, and say you’re welcome. Then GTFO, don’t tie em up, don’t make em think you’re flirting.

I doubt it makes their day noticeably better. It hasn’t seem to make them noticeably worse. They’re probably burned out and don’t want to emotionally invest further into their job.

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- Jack@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  
  and then tell them to have a good day
  
  Might this be an extravert thing? Do extraverts enjoy being told to have a good day?
  
  I prefer not to, and I also don’t want to be told to smile. I’ll put up with banalities like “Hi” even when there’s no need to actually get attention, and “Thanks” when the person clearly isn’t thankful; but if asked “How are you?” I might actually answer and they probably won’t like my answer if they didn’t mean it.
  
  Maybe introverted people put more value in honesty and not wasting time?
  
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  - rumba@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    Dunno, I’m an introvert who’s gotten better at extrovert cosplay over the decades
    
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- scarabic@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  You know… it’s a courtesy. I do mean it - for what it is. Thanks for handing me my change. I’m not going to fire up my acting chops to “sell it” like they did something extraordinary if they did not.
  
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