Flip the perspective. For example, you felt like the issues with your partner could be worked on and they didn’t work on them, they just left. So rather than wondering if you deserve a connection with them, consider if they deserve a connection with you. You’re putting work into the relationship, trying to figure things out, and they didn’t put in that effort. If they aren’t willing to put in the effort for you, then they don’t deserve a relationship with you. Surround yourself with people who value and work for a relationship with you. I don’t mean this in like a “test people to see how much they’ll put up with” way, but in a “find people who match the effort and care that you put into the relationship”
If you approach a relationship from the perspective of not being good enough and having to always earn their love and care then you’re always going to give too much and try to take something they can’t give you (self love)
Also, try to remember that you’re going through a rough time right now. The pain of the relationship ending is still raw, so of course everything else is going to feel more shit too. Keep moving forward, working on and caring for yourself. It will get better, so don’t give up
in4apenny@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 hours ago
What does “adequate” mean? Serious question.
Baggie@lemmy.zip 27 minutes ago
That would be the standard unshakable idea that I need to meet a certain approval criteria that will mean I’m worth love and care. It’s not valid, but I’m well aware it’s in there.