Comment

UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

The “friendzone” only exists when you end up in the mental gap between “I want to have sex with this person, but don’t care about them as a person” and “I want to have sex with this person, therefore I must care about them as a person.”

I think there’s definitely some confusion and frustration that comes from people who see their peers hooking up, but can’t figure out what transitions them from a friendship to a romantic relationship. Add to this, a certain low-key distrust cultivated by social media, wherein one person may assume they are getting strung along while the other isn’t willing/able to clearly signal their intentions.

Normal consenting adults can meet someone, vibe, and engage in sexual behavior without necessarily more.

Well… sometimes. The term “getting lucky” is apt, as there are so many variables - some totally beyond either of the participants’ control - that can determine whether or not the magic happens.

Once you understand that sexual desire is not romantic desire, and that romantic desire is actually really unfulfilling if not reciprocated, you’re usually good.

No. You’re “good” when you’ve found a person for whom you can reciprocate romantic love. Just understanding the difference isn’t fulfilling so much as it is enlightening. But it’s like hanging a steak over the head of a hungry dog. One dog heedlessly leaping at it isn’t more or less fulfilled than another who has come to the realization it is forever out of reach.

source

Sort:hotnew top

Garbagio@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
Yeah that’s called vibing. And nah you’re good lol, no one deserves a relationship. There are complete assholes that understand what I’ve said and don’t have a partner; I’d say they’re good. Being unfulfilled is part of life, and any adult is well aware of that, and is good regardless.

source
- UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  
  no one deserves a relationship
  
  Alienation drives people nuts. Idk about “deserves”, but everyone ultimately needs them to function normally. Folks who are shut up and hooked into the YouTube Vomit Cannon or the Twitter Racism Space to get all their socializing are the ones that burn out, melt down, or become Elon Musk.
  
  Being unfulfilled is part of life, and any adult is well aware of that, and is good regardless.
  
  Being unfulfilled creates motivation to change oneself. But being trapped in a sense of unfulfillment is toxic to the point of madness. If you’ve got no release for your anxiety or depression, you turn inward in a way that can get very dark over time.
  
  source
  - Garbagio@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    So note a few things:
    
    Alienation does drive people nuts. That has nothing to do with romantic fulfilment.
    
    Socializing isn’t romantic fulfilment, and it’s a little funny of you to bring up the former as a defense to why anyone deserves the latter
    
    Complaining about being trapped in a sense of unfulfillment is a non sequitur. What are you talking about? If you’re so unfulfilled romantically that you’d rather kill yourself than treat women as equals? Sorry not sorry, some cases of terminal unfulfillment are fine, if the only cause is being a shit person. Be better.
    
    source
    UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    
    Alienation does drive people nuts.
    
    Great news for anyone in solitary confinement.
    
    Socializing isn’t romantic fulfilment
    
    It is a necessary precondition
    
    Complaining about being trapped in a sense of unfulfillment is a non sequitur.
    
    No it isn’t
    
    source