The key to happiness is having zero expectations.
I disagree. Zero expectations leads to rotting if you’re down already. As I understand it, zero expectations almost equals zero trust.
Comment on Anon is terminally lonely
fossilesque@mander.xyz 1 month ago
The key to happiness is having zero expectations. Seeking it in others is probably one of the worst places to look.
5715@feddit.org 1 month ago
TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Zero expectations leads to rotting if you’re down already.
“Expectations” are different from “goals”. The fastest way not to be happy is to treat happiness as an expectation.
MalReynolds@slrpnk.net 1 month ago
Happiness is fundamentally transitory and unsuitable for a goal, although setting up the circumstances for it to occur regularly isn’t a bad idea. Being at peace, satisfied, not bored, and others relevant to you are much more consistent and achievable, and you only need to rely on yourself to do so (happiness is often circumstantial).
TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Happiness is fundamentally transitory and unsuitable for a goal
Oh, yeah, sorry, I didn’t mean to imply “don’t treat happiness as an expectation; treat it as a goal!”, because like you said, it’s fundamentally incompatible with what a goal is. I like to consider the SMART criteria, and even though it fails all of them (except ‘T’ if you insist you have a deadline to be happy), it fails ‘A’ the hardest, because it’s literally defined by how it’s oriented toward taking an action. If you think your goal is “I will be happy by doing X today”, then – as long as you think you can do X and have a plan – what you actually have is the goal “I will do X today” with the faulty, tacked-on expectation of “and that will make me feel happy”.
5715@feddit.org 1 month ago
Call me pedantic, but that’s not zero expectations. I 100% agree on the happiness expectations to depression pipeline, but zero expectations to me is expecting a ROI of 0, that is expecting any effort to be wasteful.
reallykindasorta@slrpnk.net 1 month ago
expectations / reality
untorquer@quokk.au 1 month ago
Lonliness is a significant driver of depression in modern society. Finding community and relationships can absolutely help. In fact friends and partners are generally the first people we need to talk to about our feelings.
lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 1 month ago
Honestly, having good friends is super important, especially friends that you can have fun with on a compatible level. I have had over half a decade with no friends that I could do anything fun with, More like situationfriendships. Luckily I now have a friend that I can have consistent fun with, and we both have never felt better. Fun is so important in life, especially with other people.
untorquer@quokk.au 1 month ago
Its rare to find a friend who will try new things. Super great to just say, “lets do this thing!” and them to emphatically agree 😁 I used to have no choice but to do those things alone.
RepleteLocum@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 month ago
So, how do I find them? I’m not in school and it’s not like I live in a capital city. I also want to keep my privacy so online services asking for pictures and full names is a no go too. Finding friends online is hard too, since I don’t use discord or the other mainstream apps. Not to mention my social and general anxiety.
lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 1 month ago
I guess how I found my friend was really complicated and a bit of an adventure. But what I would do was go to a local casual sporting event (street dodgeball) in my city, albeit sketchy but cool. Didn’t even have to talk. I also had really bad social anxiety. Being able to talk to homeless people on a regular basis for me made it a lot easier to talk to people who make 6 figures.
I would say if you can find a card/tabletop game shop that you can hangout there for free would be a good place. In a place like that, a lot of people are in the same boat. Pushing through the entry barrier is the hardest part, and it does not always work out. But when it does work, then you can carry on from there. Also see if the shop has some events you can attend. (I’m also a paranoid person, to the point that I think the store music is trying to get me)
Maybe also look for local sporting events. It doesn’t even have to be super intense or clean or dirty.
What helped my social anxiety is my friend said that muggers look for people who don’t look people in the eye or have confidence or smile. So, when I walk by people, I look them in the eye and smile. So now instead of feeling powerless and a social outcast, now I get to see them as wrong and muggable. You will have to power through it first. And then you will eventually get a person smiling back, or even starting a conversation. You’ll be suprised how different other people are and how they think of the world.
Anyway, thank you for coming to my TedEx Talk!
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 1 month ago
The key to happiness is having zero expectations.
Nope. Can’t agree with you. I don’t understand life, so I never know what to expect. Everyday I wake up and wonder what fresh new hell will await me in the headlines of the news, as the president continues to amaze me, and leave me in awe in all the new and creative ways he finds to globally embarass our whole country, and bring with it a new form of torture for all it’s citizens.
The REAL secret to happyness is to have your butthole licked while riding a jetski, and eating an ice cream sunday.
Phoenix3875@lemmy.world 1 month ago
anon rediscovers stoicism
Rusty@lemmy.ca 1 month ago
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fossilesque@mander.xyz 1 month ago
Don’t slap a western coat of paint onto older teachings.
stingpie@lemmy.world 1 month ago
According to Wikipedia, the bhagavad gita was written around 200 BC, whereas stoicism originated in 400 BC. Admittedly, this was just the result of some very cursory research, the Buddhist philosophy could go back further than the writing itself, but it seems to me like they independently arise around the same time (that being around 200 years difference, lol) but you really need to be careful saying stuff like that. I’ve made the same mistake dozens of times where I confidently state something, only for it to be disproven by a minute of googling.
fossilesque@mander.xyz 1 month ago
The Bhagavad Gita is a synthesis work of even older teachings going back a thousand years before it was written in that book.