I’ve dated quite a few women and had a couple of long-term relationships. They all seem reluctant - it happens but rarely. I’ve never pushed it, only shown in every way I can how much I enjoy it when it does happen. My current domestic partner does it, but I probably go down on her 10-20x more often than she does me.

But it’s also kind of a general pattern that they expect me to take the initiative in sex, and they are relatively passive. One hypothesis I have is that taking too much initiative makes them feel “slutty” or that their own desirability is not confirmed enough. Maybe this is just a part of that general pattern. But what do I know.