Comment on Rude
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 1 day agoYou literally described a lot of what my partner deals with every day. We’ve been married for over 8 years and they still feel uncertainty that I will leave them, or they’ll go weeks without showering because that requires too many spoons and they’re insomniac and haven’t slept in 5 days and just eating a teacup amount of food when I make dinner for us.
Doesn’t mean I don’t love them any less. Can it be frustrating? Of course. Can it be annoying? Of course. But I married this person because I love the person, disabilities and all.
It’s not fetishizing anything. Their disabilities make them 1 of 1. I married an incredibly unique individual and I love them wholeheartedly. And all the positives I get out of the relationship greatly outweigh the negative quirks.
Tiresia@slrpnk.net 21 hours ago
That’s nice. I’m happy for you both.
Your comment made it sound like you love her thanks to her disabilities, rather than because of who she is which includes her disabilities. That the disability positively affects your rating of her rather than it being an integral part of her when she is always good enough. I’m glad that isn’t the case, though I stand by my reaction being appropriate to what you wrote.
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 21 hours ago
Love how you not only assumed the reasons I love my partner but also misgendered them at the same time.
Maybe you should sit down and think about how you view others before judging them.
Tiresia@slrpnk.net 20 hours ago
Sorry for the misgendering, I don’t know how I messed that up.
I thought I was paraphrasing what you said. So if you still have the patience to help me out, could you explain how the things I said were wrong?
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
They’re autistic. Their disabilities are them. They literally make them who they are as a human. All the negatives and all the positives and all the difficulties and everything, they are who they are because of it. And I love them as a person, not despite or thanks to anything. I’m ADHD with a couple other neurospicy crap and I struggle with a lot of things. One of them is misinterpreting language on top of being dyslexic. They sometimes need to repeat or rephrase something they’re telling me multiple times (and I can see they’re becoming annoyed) because my brain just won’t process the words correctly. But when it clicks not only do I understand but they feel proud they found the right words for me.
Mental disorders are literally part of the person. They make the person that I/You love.
kungen@feddit.nu 20 hours ago
My keyboard psychologist also says that person has some kind of codependency issues… but if they’re truly happy, all’s good and I wish them well.