trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
I have noticed a common theme of guilt tripping parents in friend with an asian (mostly indian and malaysian chinese) background. It’s common in those cultures for parents to expect their children to take care of them in their old age mose than in eestern cultures. I think the increasing individualism in society scares the parents and makes them feel the need for manipulative behavior to get their children to not abandon them. This is made worse by the fact that in those cultures it’s generally not done to openly speak about emotions that might make you seem weak, so instead of just talking to their kids they get more manipulative.
DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 22 hours ago
My mom cuddles with me so much as a kid, and physical affection was supposedly not “common” amongst asians (? or so I heard, it’s not like I went around asking classmates), so like… idk… this flip-flip from affectionate loving mother to “I sacrificed so much for you, we [as in parents, my materal grandparents] all love you so much do you know that? 🤗” then sometimes the verbal abuse randomly happens and it really just messes with my brain so fucking much.
callouscomic@lemmy.zip 21 hours ago
Coming from a similar background, just know, you deserve your own security, including mentally. You did nothing wrong. You are enough. And most importantly, the good times don’t mean the bad abusive times are okay. Abuse can be physical, verbal, emotional, mental, and lots of blame, shame, and neglect can be abuse.
Don’t let it turn into a bad habit where you constantly feel the need to cling to someone. The abuse and neglect and confusion can make relationships difficult, and may cause you to overthink them later in life and worry about things that harm your future relationships.
Try to center yourself and meditate on how you feel, allow your thoughts time they need to process, and try to truly feel how your body feels.
Wish you the best. Hang in there.