Comment on Anon asks out a girl

• damnedfurry@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  If I linked to the data showing that f/f couples have higher domestic violence than either m/f or m/m couples and then said ‘I keep asking “are lesbians okay”’, would you not think that a callous and insensitive thing to say?

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  • BananaIsABerry@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Marginalized groups have no problem acting in the exact way they expect others not to about them.

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  • stevedice@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Then I would tell you’re not original, we’ve all seen that “data” and it doesn’t say what you think it says so you can’t read. I’d also remind you reactions like that are why you’re single.

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    • damnedfurry@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Then I would tell you you’re not original

      Is this a bad time to point out that “are the lesbians okay” yields a paltry 172 results on Google (and on top of that, the first page of results is mostly not people using it the way the hypothetical in my analogy does)?

      Seems much more original than most things you can find online, objectively speaking.

      “data”

      Poisoning the well. State what makes it illegitimate, with specificity, if you can.

      it doesn’t say what you think it says so you can’t read.

      Even if I did misinterpret any given source of information, calling me illiterate for doing so is comically over-the-top cruel. For shame.

      I’d also remind you reactions like that are why you’re single.

      The person I just celebrated an anniversary with would be very amused to read this. And like me, she’d recognize

      Anyway, if you’d like to at least pretend to be someone who’s interested in more than creating an illiterate unlovable strawman to insult for your own ego’s sake, here is my response to a far less caustic retort.

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      • stevedice@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        And this just cements the fact that you can’t read. You’re not original, because your dumb misinterpreted study has been posted and debunked to hell and back.

        The person I just celebrated an anniversary with would be very amused to read this. And like me, she’d recognize

        And you’re also delusional. I’m not surprised.

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  • Manticore@lemmy.nz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I know the study you mean and you’re misrepresenting it. It asks people who identify as lesbian whether they have experienced domestic abuse at all, and concludes they’re more likely to than straight women.

    But remember lesbians often date men before coming out. When asking whether the perpetrator was male or female and separating the data, the stats shifted. Lesbians experienced less DV from their female partners than straight women do from their male ones.

    Women are also capable of abuse of course, but a large amount of the DV lesbians received was still from men.

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    • damnedfurry@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      But that alone doesnt say who is doing the abuse. Remember lesbians often date men before coming out.

      Short version: They certainly aren’t more likely to have dated men than the female demographic that dates exclusively men, and also reports a much lower domestic violence incidence than them. The above absolutely does not hold water as refutation.

      Long version:

      Even if we assumed the following for the sake of argument:

      1. X% of men are abusers
      2. zero women are abusers
      3. 100% of lesbians have dated men at some point
      4. The lesbians have the exact same number of male partners on average as women who have had exclusively male partners
          

      Then in aggregate, the abuse incidence between hetero women and lesbians would be effectively equal.

      However, in reality, 2 is obviously more than zero, 3 is obviously less than 100%, and re 4, lesbians obviously have fewer male partners on average than hetero women. And all three of those facts push the incidence rate of DV for the lesbians up to be higher than that of women who have only ever dated men, without there being any change in how many male abusers there are.

      When asking whether the perpetrator was male or female and separating the data, the stats shifted. Lesbians experienced less DV from their female partners than straight women do from their male ones.

      Got a link for that?

      Women are also capable of abuse of course

      That’s arguably a significant understatement, according to this study:

      In nonreciprocally violent [male/female] relationships, women were the perpetrators in more than 70% of the cases.

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  • AntiOutsideAktion@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I am a straight and look how not okay I am

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• Leomas@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  No, they are not. (As a straight person by most definitions probably)

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