I drink two beers in the morning, I drink two beers at night, I drink two beers in the afternoon, and then I feel alright!

I drink two beers in times of peace, and two in times of war; I drink two beers before I drink two beers, and then I drink two more!

My friends say I have a drinking problem. A drinking problem! What drinking problem? I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem!