Comment on Discussion Thread đŚ Friday 17 October 2025
LowExperience2368@aussie.zone â¨3⊠â¨days⊠ago
Friend who is a big procrastinator and only started her assignment today keeps messaging me to tell me how frustrated she is because her code didnât work or something and she wants to kill herself. Fucking yikes.
I procrastinate like that too but I keep those thoughts as inside ones.
Talk like that concerns me. I donât find it funny, tell her to not ever say anything like that in jest
and if she is being manipulative I would cut her as a friend.
What does she want from you?
If she doesnât overtly ask for something what do you think she trying to manipulate you into doing?
She wants someone to comfort her in her distress. I told her that a psych appointment takes five minutes to book, she can see one through Zoom, itâs FREE through her uni, and she wonât get one straight away, so the donât have time is an excuse.
encouragement is what she needs, not comfort
âYou can do it!â
Done :))
Yikes. Sounds like girlypop needs to join a coding forum or something for the technical help, address her struggles with the teacher, and not say such things to you.
Friends can support of course but I feel like this lady could bring you down with her
Yep. She said she doesnât have time to see a psych, even though her uni offers them for free and it only takes an hour. Sheâs used AI to code most things these days, saying that itâs the processes that she needs to know, not the actual code itselfâŚ
Yeah⌠You seem like a good friend but please take care of yourself here and watch out. Donât be the only friend she goes to and maybe distance yourself a bit.
Sorry if this is unwanted advice. Itâs just in my twenties I had friends who were chaotic and insisted on using me as the go to while refusing to let me link them with more appropriate supports, and I burned out so hard I had to drop them. Then I was the one not coping.
Assuming sheâs able bodied and not incapacitated by her mental health your friend has choices here.
Even if theyâre not something she wants to do, such as deferring for a while, withdrawing/failing and retaking the course, changing courses, or withdrawing/failing and going into work instead. Iâm not sure how everything works now but she has choices.
If sheâs both physically disabled and her mental health is unmanaged/unmanageable she might actually be fucked but also you have the right to maintain boundaries and your own wellbeing.
Thanks Melba. I have linked her to appropriate supports and been encouraging. A voice of reason and self-compassion if you will. Now I will be disengaging to work on my own assignment due soon.
She said she doesnât have time to see a psych,
sheâs a drama queen
Absolutely
If you donât have a lot of choices due to the service being subsidised some providers can be terrible. Thereâs also a shortage plus high demand.
But a lot of them do Zoom now. I think she just doesnât want to. Itâs easier to demand informal supports from a friend to just vent
SaneMartigan@aussie.zone â¨3⊠â¨days⊠ago
FWIW, they really sound like a programmer.
LowExperience2368@aussie.zone â¨3⊠â¨days⊠ago
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