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Comment on Discussion Thread 🐅 Wednesday 15 October 2025

Gawd needed that sleep.

Don’t have to deal with little meltdowns from ol’ girl for the next 2 days. Takes its toll that’s for sure. Some of them are head scratchers… like refusing to get on the scales (she has to), then turning around and saying the only reason she’s not gaining weight is because I’m not feeding her enough to get rid of her. Then come dinner, little meltdown about her not wanting to put ensure in her food and that we’re bullying her. She’d be sub 40kg easy w/out it.

The real head scratcher is she has all her memory, knows what’s happening but just refuses very easy things that’ll help. It’s a very weird form of incident dementia. You could easily just pass it off as just being old and grumpy and I’m sure a lot do. Thankfully ol’ boy finally agrees w/ me that that’s what it is. Doesn’t change much except at least it’s an explanation. Viewing it through that makes things bit less frustrating.

Lotta stigma there, so I can see why ol’ boy is reluctant to get her into a neuro as it’d just be upsetting and yet another lengthy process for her. For me it’d be good know definitively but I’m done locking horns about that now.

But shit’s stable, ignoring the meltdowns and just gonna keep doing what’s working.

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Seagoon_@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
my MIL would rather die than accept my help,

then she phones other people to say I’m awful and won’t help her

she refuses to accept she is old and has had hip and knee operations, she’s 86, she won’t stop driving, she won’t use her cane, she won’t get rails or ramps put in her house, and she won’t let me, or anyone else help or do things

I understand pride and am sensitive but when she is actively mean and lies about me, and she has done it for decades, then I kinda don’t care anymore

I suppose what I’m saying is that even in old age and being infirm personality is a big factor on outcome

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SpinMeAround@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
Glad you’re getting a bit of respite, that’s a shit situation to be put in. You’re fuckin’ awesome for doing all that you are!

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anotherspringchicken@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
Dementia has some really weird effects on people, especially in how their personalities and thinking can change.

You’re doing an amazing job looking after your mum, in really difficult circumstances, and I hope you get the chance to unwind and have some time to yourself

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melbaboutown@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
Yeah, personalities change. Stubbornness, even rage. :( It’s really hard.

Maybe get her one of those comfy hanging egg chairs but sneakily suspend it from a luggage scale? Or hide a weight-remembering scale under her seat cushion? I KID, I KID.

For serious though you may be able to sub in neutral Ensure or protein powder for part or all of the milk powder in cream stew and it might not be noticed. Maybe even add some actual cream right at the end as well. Just don’t let her catch you doing it 😏

japan.recipetineats.com/white-stew-cream-stew/

Dementia support forums might also be really helpful and supportive during this time.

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