Comment on Has this ever happened to you?
bizarroland@lemmy.world 8 hours agoI don’t go on dates with women I have not spent time getting to know.
It’s usually a week or more at least of conversation and seeing how we click before we meet up in person.
But that’s a me thing, something you would know if you knew me.
It is not my intent to dunk on you or on anyone else. I would appreciate it if you would return the favor.
Good job projecting your personal preferences and dating strategy onto every other person in the world 👍
Also, good job failing to empathize with people who are regularly lied to and intentionally misled by people with negative intent, because “not all men” or what the fuck ever logical equivalent
Lumisal@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
You’re not getting the point.
The point is, we don’t know you.
And this may shock you, but people with bad intentions can just lie about things online. I’m not saying you are some psychopath who acts nice and caring online only to spike a drink and rape in person. Or that you’re an abuser but you can’t catch it yourself. I’m saying people don’t know you, and therefore it can’t be ruled out as a possibility. And so therefore the risk does indeed exist.
Not knowing is the point. Some people will therefore want to take more precautions when getting to know you even better in person, to minimize the risk further. Others won’t think of the risk and just take it, or think it’s not too risky, or not care of the risk, or even might think they can keep themselves safe, and won’t meeting you in person alone in public.
No matter what though, the point is that initially, people don’t know you. It’s not an accusation directed at you, it’s literally just the situation.
bizarroland@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
I have been accused of being the problem. I am not the problem.
I do not fit into the box you have provided for me.
Maybe you should take my measurement first.
Lumisal@lemmy.world 12 minutes ago
I’m not a woman, but after going through a whole explanation saying it’s not about you specifically, but about the unknown, and you still take it personally - I’d consider that a red flag.