You’ve been doing an absolutely incredible job keeping her well. But it does take a toll when it all falls to you. Convalescence/Respite doesn’t work for a lot of people, they see it as a threat to their independence so become more withdrawn. In my humble experience home based support (although some are reluctant for that too) works a little bit more because ‘normal’ people will lift their game when someone is coming into their home. And I don’t mean that your mum is not normal, I mean that most of the people I nurse in the community are not normal and they are happy for me to see them warts and all, and normal people will put in some effort because someone is looking in. Take some big deep breaths, tackle a big pruning job that will recover and sit under your weeping cherry to watch the petals rain down.