Comment on Joseph is still not buying her story

ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

• lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  It sounds a little victim-blame-y but the “needs to be worked on” makes it ok

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  • sad_detective_man@leminal.space ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    it’s actually kind of the opposite. the notion that we’re attracted to abusers is something people say to blame people who get abused. it even has a shitty prevalence in psychology.

    If you’re struggling this this, you should watch [this] (www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_I8G1BWdLM) video by Theramintrees where he debunks it

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    • El_Scapacabra@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      TheraminTrees is amazing.

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    • lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      The opposite what what?? My point was that it sounds like victim blaming because instead of blaming the toxic person, it blames the victim but it’s ok since it doesn’t just blame them but tells them to work on it. So instead of saying “it’s your fault, shame on you” it says “it’s because of aspects of yourself and we have to work on them”. Now you link a video that talks about how to work on it, debunking a theory I didn’t even touch on and feel like you destroyed me thoroughly? I never talked about being attracted to abusive people, I talked about who’s to blame and who should work on themselves and your video is about how to work on oneself which is the next logical question and thanks for the context but it doesn’t contradict my comment in any way, shape or form.

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      • sad_detective_man@leminal.space ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        woahwoahwoahwoah chill, dude. I misunderstood which take you were referring to, I wasn’t squaring up to write paragraphs at you in a comment section.

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  • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Agreed. You’re right.

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