Comment on 2hot2handle
squaresinger@lemmy.world 20 hours agoMy biggest pet peeve with terms like “mansplaining” is that it does contain a real issue with some actual definition, but then it uses such a blunt and crude word that’s just plain besides the point of what it actually means.
If this was a term against women, feminists would be up in arms because the stupid terminology almost guarantees that it will be understood and used wrong.
Because fundamentally, the word itself is man+explaining, and it’s used just like that: Whenever a man explains something a woman doesn’t want to hear, it’s mansplaining. No matter who is the expert in the field.
In a prior job I was head of software development. I built the team, I built all the software, I worked on all the hardware we sold.
We hired a new marketing person. She had no prior experience, it was her first job in the field after returning from a long maternity break and before that she worked in an unrelated field. She put stuff into marketing material that was plain wrong. She listed features that we not only didn’t have, but that didn’t actually apply to the whole product category. When I pointed that out, she tried to shut it down with “Don’t mansplain”.
The concept behind “mansplaining” is real and it is a problem in some circumstances. But the term is toxic and needs to go.
(Similar story with the term “toxic masculinity”, which is often understood as “all masculinity is toxic”, not as “machismo”. This one really annoys me, since we already had a really good term, “machismo”.)
Warl0k3@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
I agree - the term has reached a point where at this point it’s become an alt-right dogwhistle. The phenomenon is real, and really extremely common, and a new term should absolutely be introduced so that discussion of the concept isn’t derailed by people constantly going “ugh it’s such an oppressive thing”.
Side note:
(I wouldn’t normally point this out, but it’s beside the point. That you’re making a (literal, not dismissing you) semantic argument and the first sentence has a semantic error was too amusing not to point out.)
squaresinger@lemmy.world 19 hours ago
You are right that any term can be destroyed by the alt-right, that’s totally true (I mean they got the term “walkable city” to mean something like “apocalyptic ghetto” in their sphere), but I think that “mansplaining” (and to a slightly lesser degree “toxic masculinity”) were already dead on arrival.
Mansplaining is such a bad term, that it already doesn’t work without the alt-right touching it.
At least in German speaking counties (can’t speak for the rest of the world), feminism is known for being really particular with words used for/against women, because they know that words shape understanding. For the last 20 or so years we have had (and still have) a quite heated discussion about gender-correct language¹. But instead of applying the same scrutiny to terms used for men, these terms are just adopted without question.
I just want the same scrutiny to be applied for all terms. “Hysteria” is rightfully a word that dropped out of use, and so should “mansplaining” be.
Why not just use a gender-neutral word like “overexplaining” or just describe what’s the problem instead of using a fighting term that only causes pushback instead of actually helping people understand problematic behaviour?
¹ German is a gendered language, meaning almost every term has distinct male and female versions, and gender-correct language means that you use constructs that mention both genders. The reasoning is that using the generic masculinum (aka, use the male version if you don’t care about the gender) leads to people not considering women, so e.g. when you hear “Arzt” ( (male) doctor) it makes women working in that job invisible and shapes who wants to become a doctor. Similar with female-first terms like “Schwester” (which means “nurse” or “sister”).
Warl0k3@lemmy.world 19 hours ago
Because it’s not a gender-neutral problem. In a non-gendered language, an explicitly gendered term is generally used for strong emphasis. I’m sorry, I just don’t know why insights about semantics in a gendered language are relevant in a discussion of a non-gendered language. It’s not that it’s not interesting I just don’t know how to address this. Does german have the word “mansplaining” too…?
squaresinger@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
Yes, German does have the term “mainsplaining” too.
The issue here that “mansplaining” tries to tackle is “person with little knowledge thinks that everyone else (or specifically a person with a lot of knowledge) is stupid and thus has to explain stuff they already know”.
And while in many male-dominated fields that is a mostly-but-not-exclusively male problem, just go to any parenting-related thing as a man. Then you’ll have tons of women “mansplaining” very simple parenting concepts to you.
As the father of two young children, I have been “mansplained” by women about everything from how to change diapers to how to talk to children. Quite often by women who are about the age of my grandmother, but who think they still know everything about raising children.
I try to give my wife the chance for a child-free night out 1-3 days a week. Been doing that for years now. And yet, every single time my wife does something with her mother and I have the kids, my mother-in-law asks me if I can really handle that and gives me “helpful tips” about what I can do with my own children.
And do you know how often random women butt in when I disinfect my immunocompromised child’s hands in public places? “Desinfection hurts the immune system”. Yeah, sure. Dying from an infection does so as well. (The kid has cystic fibrosis.)
Women “mansplain” just as much, just about other topics.