Having kids can be stressful, but if you don’t play a largely united front and allow the kids to play manipulative games against your partner, don’t communicate, take sides and turn on each other, one or both of you is snide and used the kids to undermine both the other person and the relationship.

This is me and my wife.

It’s still not the kid’s fault if they were brought up to tolerate and play emotional games against family members. Kids start off life completely self absorbed and have to be taught to be kind, share, think about other people’s feelings and prioritise relationships over things. No toddler knows this. All functioning adults do.

This is my brother-in-law and his wife.