Comment on Baby dies after California mom leaves him in car to get lip filler on 101-degree day, police say

• grrgyle@slrpnk.net ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I mean I’ve left the house without my glasses and I’m legally blind without them, so I can understand just how absentminded a human can get.

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  • victorz@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    That’s the thing. We non-absent-minded people cannot relate to how absent-minded people can be. We do not understand.

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• cynar@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  It depends how often you drive without the kids.

  If you don’t always drop the kids off yourself, it’s easy to get half way to work on autopilot before realising you meant to drop them off.

  Sleep deprivation is a weird thing.

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• EnsignWashout@startrek.website ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I felt the same, until I had my first lousy sleeper. After a month of lost sleep, I couldn’t remember my own name sometimes. I read once that sleep deprivation is effectively brain damage, and after that experience, I believe it.

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• moakley@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  The biggest thing that most of those people have in common is that they think it couldn’t happen to them.

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  • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Before I had kids I would’ve been right there with you, but I am in a completely different mindspace anytime I’m caring for my kids than when I’m not.

    When I’m in “dad mode” there’s a significant portion of my attention that’s constantly running through “Are the kids getting into trouble? When did I last see them? When were they last fed/watered/potty breaks? Are we about to pass something that they’ll see and decide they need to go to and therefore cost more time/money than I’ve budgeted for this trip and should I be taking a different route to avoid it? When did I last observe the kids alive, has it been more than 60 seconds I need to check on them again…” And the only way to break out of dad mode is if somebody else has taken over active care/monitoring of the kids or if the kids are both asleep in their beds. It’s a biological state that I seriously did not know was possible, and I simply can’t turn it off.

    So when I say I can’t forget my kids in the car, this is what I mean, I’m so actively aware of my kids location and status at all times that I’m the primary caretaker that they can’t even try to wander off in a park or store without my noticing

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    • moakley@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Yeah, I’ve got that too. But confidence leads to complacency. I’ve thankfully never had it happen when it mattered, but on a couple of occasions I’ve found myself not being hypervigilant when I normally would be. It’s back on once I notice, but it only takes one slip up.

      Most of these cases also involve a change in routine. You go about your normal day, feeling the way you normally do, because your mind has forgotten that something is different. Trusting your instinct to overcome that just isn’t a foolproof plan. I mean there is no foolproof plan, but there’s also no harm in taking a little extra precaution in your routine like putting your shoe or your wallet in the back seat.

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      • victorz@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        confidence leads to complacency

        I find that after having kids and seeing on the news what can go wrong, there is zero confidence in the kids or their surroundings. That’s why I have confidence in myself that I would never forget them, because I’m always scared. 😆 Never let them out of my sight on a parking lot, e.g. They will just start running and you need to wrangle and holler. Hold their hand over a cross walk, etc etc etc.

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  • victorz@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The thing is, I have two kids, and have heard about hot car deaths for years before having kids, so I make sure it doesn’t happen. I never leave the kids alone in the car on a hot day. They come with. Luckily we have cold weather most of the year so they can sit alone for a few minutes in a cold car, but never during the summer. Like, even before hearing about hot car deaths, I knew from a young age that cars get hot, and it’s just common sense not to leave a child in there, because I wouldn’t want to sit in there myself for any amount of time. Doesn’t matter if the AC is on full blast, that thing might cut out or fail for any reason, and then my kids are goners.

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