Comment on Viewers like you

• caseyweederman@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  “I don’t put oil in my car. It’s not natural.”
  Everyone’s brains have cells that manufacture dopamine, receptors that detect dopamine levels, and cleaner proteins that keep your brain from just being full of dopamine all the time.
  My cleaner proteins are OP, so the dopamine is rarely in my brain long enough to get detected, so I don’t get the “good job sport/hamster treat button” reward feeling unless the dopamine burst is REALLY STRONG, like the first few times I accomplish or learn something new.
  That’s why I struggle with brushing my teeth or doing the dishes or making it to appointments on time or doing my homework, but I thrive off of picking up new hobbies that I’m sure I’ll stick with, this time, and not drop the moment I didn’t spend a bunch of money on tools and materials for, like all the previous hobbies.
  It’s why I literally cannot form habits.
  So I take a medication that inhibits those dopamine blockers. The dopamine gets produced, and gets to stick around long enough in my brain juices that the receptors can take a meaningful poll of my levels. Now when I press the button, the hamster treat comes out!
  For decades I thought I was just lazy, and bad, because everyone around me was telling me that I just needed to apply myself. So much potential. It turns out my brain is just too good at one very narrowly specific thing that makes it hard for me to be good at anything.
  And meditation or cutting back on sugar or just pushing through it, none of that did a goddamn thing because it’s not a moral failure, it’s not that I’m not trying, it’s that my brain needs a little help managing chemicals.

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  • Zink@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Wow, that matches my experience exactly.

    I’m curious if you’re willing to share what the medication is in your case.

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    • Lumidaub@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Congratulations, you may have ADHD (one of us one of us <cheer>). The applicable drugs are dopamine reuptake inhibitors (such as Ritalin).

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      • Zink@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        Oh I absolutely do, neurospicy stranger! I have the kind that comes with crushing Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria too.

        I’ve tried some non-Ritalin brands of slow release methylphenidate, plus tried some slow release adderall, but right now just taking two immediate-release adderall is doing the trick.

        You should SEE the amount of shit I’ve built this summer. I even contribute at work sometimes, lol.

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      • caseyweederman@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        Does ritalin have time-release yet? Hell of a spike if not.

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    • caseyweederman@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Name-brand Concerta, which is methylphenidate packaged in some proprietary time-delay system. The time-delay system is crucial, because you extremely do not want the full dosage dumped into your system all at once, or in irregular batches, and apparently the off-brand manufacturers just haven’t cracked it. I don’t think that’s just propaganda.

      Also: I hope you live in a place where medication is covered. :/

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      • Zink@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        Ah ok, thanks! A while back I tried Jornay, which is also time release methylphenidate. Now I am just on instant release adderall. Slow release didn’t work for that either. It’s like it takes too long in my system.

        It’s good so far!

        I’m in the US with the typical high deductible health insurance you get from an employer in a professional office job. But I’m also in a unique situation where the treatment for a different condition of mine is so expensive that the drug company pays your deductible. So it’s almost like I have really good insurance that covers everything.

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