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Comment on Discussion Thread 💾 Saturday 28 June

small lil "being-triggered" vent

So my cousin got engaged over the weekend, she found herself a top notch bloke and she’s a star herself so perfect combo. I’m not jealous of that, I don’t care about being married or not and it isn’t important to me in any way - deep or superficial. I’m envious of how her mum is so happy and proud and keeps gushing about her - I just know that my dad just wouldn’t talk about me like that, and my mum isn’t in my life and she isn’t the type to care about my accomplishments either. I’m sad that no matter what I do, what I accomplish, or big (to me) achievements, I don’t have a parent who would talk about me like that, so proud and open about being proud. I’m so happy for my cousin, she’s a fantastic person and has been through so much - she deserves this happiness and her mum to gush about her. I feel bad for being triggered by my aunt’s love for her daughter - I guess I still have a long way to go to reconcile not having a parent be so openly loving to and about me.

Just needed to get this out into the world, I can’t talk to my family about this, especially not now, and my partner doesn’t really get it as his parents are wonderful. I’m sorry.

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Eagle@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
When you have difficult or non existant parental relationships, stuff like this always highlights what you don’t have. You’re not wrong for feeling that way, and their absence in your life is not a reflection of how wonderful you are as a human being. Some parents just suck. ❤️

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SpinMeAround@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
Sometimes when I read or watch shows where people have happy, supportive parents, I actually can’t help but cry because how different might life be if I was encouraged instead of shut down?

So, I totally understand how you feel. And it’s one of those both things can be true situations: you can be so happy for your cousin, but you can also envy her. I’ve spent years in therapy thanks to my parents, but the truth is, it’ll always be a little wound somewhere on me that opens it. I’m just better at treating it now.

I know this sounds like tripe, but we love you! We’re proud of you! Too many of us in here understand! We gotcha back!

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Gibsonhasafluffybutt@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
It’s important be able to talk about these things in the open sometimes.

I’m sort of in the same position you are, and honestly, it hurts.

It doesn’t mean I’m not happy for my friends, but I’d be lying if I didn’t feel a pang of sadness.

Hang in there ❤️

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- Seagoon_@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
  YES. I find talking openly completely removes shame.
  
  but I do worry I am bringing my loved ones, my real fam, down
  
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Seagoon_@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
so many hugs

and you’re not alone in this, I understand it perfectly

just last night I dreamt of my father using slur words at me , I basically told him he was a bad father and should have been supportive and spoken well to me

and then on waking I realised, I have never had a nice dream of my father or sister, not one . That kinda made me sad. I’ve never missed them either.

In my own life as a parent I have tried to be as open and loving and supportive as I can be and I am so lucky to have the Young Seagoons, they are really good people.

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- Eagle@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
  That’s the one blessing isn’t it. We’re working hard to make sure our kids don’t ever have to feel that.
  
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  - Seagoon_@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
    it is
    
    so many hugs to you and yours
    
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melbaboutown@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
This seems like their failing, not yours.

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