Comment on Would you be dumb enough to wear this shirt in public?
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Feminism out of control. Women don’t enjoy sex. That’s a myth. If female orgasms existed my wife would have had one by the third of the five pumps I give her.
Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Generous man, with two extra pumps. I dated a Mormon and got no pumps until I swapped his anti-seizure meds with caffeine pills.
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 2 days ago
That’s dark. It reminds me of a story.
A little old lady goes for a stroll in the park, when she sees a man sitting on a bench wearing a trench coat. As she walks closer, she realises he isn’t wearing anything else. She sits next to him and after a minute, he turns to her and asks, “Would you like to touch my penis?”
“Oh, no, I couldn’t,” she says. “I’m a widow and I haven’t touched one in years.”
“Go on,” he says. “It’s like riding a bike. You don’t forget.”
So she does. And every day for the next few months, she goes to the park and enjoys her encounter with the man.
One day, he isn’t at their regular meeting spot.
“Oh, well he was old,” she says to herself, thinking he’s died. But after a few minutes, she sees him on another bench with another little old woman.
“You bastard,” she says. “You’re cheating on me! What’s she got that I don’t?”
“Parkinson’s,” he replied.
SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Three little old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a flasher runs up.
Two of them have a stroke and the third couldn’t reach.
Dagwood222@lemm.ee 1 day ago
90 year old woman goes to the local brothel. She tells the madam that she wants to try something new, so she wants to try being a hooker for a night. Madam makes some phone calls, finds some customers who 'd be into it, and tells the woman to come back the next night.
The next day the lady arrives, and soon the first john shows up. They walk upstairs, spend an hour, and come back. The second customer is waiting, and so he and she go upstairs. After she comes back down, the third guy arrives, so it’s back upstairs.
At the end of the night the madam asks if she wants to come back?
“Oh, no dear. the sex was fine but those damn stairs will kill me.”
Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world 2 days ago
First old lady sits down on the other side. “She’s got two hands, don’t she?”